Just because most people aren't talking about it, it doesn't mean betrayal trauma isn't real. It's a very common and painful part of a break-up. But you can pull through.
Most break-ups are hard, but some bring so much confusion into our lives that we can't have trouble dealing with reality. It is possible to have post-traumatic stress disorder after ending a relationship, and it's most likely connected to betrayal.
Trauma isn't the word one should use lightly. Mostly, we connect it to wars, sexual abuse, and various extreme, terrifying, or life-threatening circumstances. Who's to say that a relationship can't fit into some or all of these categories?
When you are betrayed by the person who is supposed to love, respect, and support you the most, your world shatters. You're not losing your mind; you are suffering from betrayal trauma, a strange fusion of PTSD, and post-break-up sadness. These are the most common symptoms, and if you feel overwhelmed at any time, call a therapist. There's no need to postpone your recovery!
You are not only blaming yourself, but you're also adding fuel to the fire by isolating yourself. You're hiding, and that will make matters worse.
Try to spend time with your friends, talk to them, and let them talk about their lives as well. Attempt to help someone. It might feel better than you thought.
You're reliving your relationship and thinking: "what did I do?" Maybe you did something, but you sure didn't deserve to be betrayed and to be in such pain.
Betrayal trauma doesn't allow you to trust your gut or to act if you would before it happened. You're no longer the same person, but that's ok. Remember that this pain will go away, but you need to put yourself first.
You might still be looking at your past relationship with rose-tinted glasses. Betrayal trauma can cause you to get flashbacks of the good, old days, which feels like drowning because those days are long gone.
Besides, we often see those days in a much brighter light. Your brain is trying to find happiness, and by doing so, it's adding more confusion.
You probably experienced anxiety, but this time everything feels way harder and more real. You might feel like you're on the edge of reason, and that's a perfectly reasonable response to any traumatic event.
If you do feel as if anxiety is taking over your life, talk to a professional ASAP. They will guide you and help you navigate your fears and release the triggers.
You either can't sleep, or all you do is sleep. It's a way to escape reality and part of betrayal trauma. Similarly, your brain is working overtime, and you can't fall asleep.
Sleeping is a vital part of your well-being. You know that, yet you're struggling. Stop punishing yourself, try to eat healthy, exercise, talk to loved ones, and call a therapist. You don't have to be alone.
Betrayal trauma happens when an intimate partner in a relationship betrays a person. It's PTSD, and you should treat it accordingly. Your mind is screaming: "stay home, you're a loser, no one loves you…" At the same time, you know that's not true. You can, and you will survive this, but you need to be with people and pay attention to yourself.
Learn to occupy yourself with positivity and let people in. Recovering from trauma takes time, and you will have ups and downs. But, once you learn to trust yourself again, you'll see how much you grew, and you'll know that it wasn't your fault. It happens.