Being Strong All The Time Is Sucking The Life Out Of Me

Being strong is not all it's made out to be. Being strong all the time, has me feeling exhausted to my bones and soul.

I can say from experience that being strong all the time is so draining. Having to act like nothing is wrong, pretending that everything in my life is perfect when it's not, is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I always admired and respected independent and strong people, but I never thought I would end up becoming one. But that is exactly what I am today. However, deep down, I don't feel so strong. I have always felt that I cannot do everything I want on my own.

I do my best to be strong for myself and everyone else. I have mastered the art of taking every blow life throws at me in my stride. But like everyone else, I have my limits.

I see only one option – to hit the reset button and start from scratch. So what if I end up on my own, at least I will truly feel strong and independent, instead of just pretending like I am strong.

When you are strong, it's harder to cry. You are not allowed to. You cannot break down as nobody expects you to show any signs of weakness. You learn to keep your vulnerabilities to yourself.

But therein lies the problem.

You delude yourself into thinking that nothing can ever get to you. And the world plays along, acting like you never need help with anything.

That is my life. I can feel everything, but I have to display as little of it as possible.

When I am alone, all I can do is cry because the weight of it all is simply crushing me. Being constantly strong for myself and others is simply more than I can handle.

I am like everyone else. I need support and I need people to be there for me as well. Someone to listen to me and a shoulder to cry on. I also need someone who cares when I am going through a tough time to support me.

I can't keep up the pretense any longer. I would deeply appreciate a chance to show my vulnerability without feeling that I am less of a person. There are times I wish I could depend on someone else other than myself. That would be a nice change of pace.

Life is hard enough on your own, and it's many times harder when you have to pretend that it is not. Few people, if any, can handle the stresses of their own lives without feeling overwhelmed at some point or another.

So being strong is nothing more than the devil's errand. It is nothing more than pretending that you have no vulnerabilities when everyone obviously has them.

This is why I am tired of being strong all the time. I want to be like everyone else, being able to deal with the ups and downs of life out there in the open without feeling judged.