Wouldn't you say that it's time to redefine what does it mean to be raised properly? Passing judgments and acting like a perfect little lady means nothing if your heart isn't in it!
The real values are inside you. They aren't on display, and one of the worst things is that people love to judge a book by its cover. But we have the power to change that.
Being raised right or being a genuine person
Most parents don't have the idea that they need to create a perfect human. They want us to be happy and healthy. But since parents are, well, parents, they will do their best to protect us from "the others." So, when my mom tells me to watch my language or not to wear a particular dress, she's thinking about what others might say. Sorry, mom, but I don't give a toss!
If you have any kind of moral compass, know how to recognize when someone needs help, and genuinely have a will to be more than just a perfect lady (or a gentleman), you know that the way you look, or words you use don't matter as much.
Sure, you can't go swearing like a sailor, with a cigar in the corner of your mouth, to your workplace. But that's just the thing: being raised right means adapting to specific standards, but not giving up your fundamental human right to be yourself.
Labeling people and other judgmental crap
You know that being a judgmental behind won't make you look any better, right? Yet, we are always judging and labeling people, like jars. Pretty depressing.
While it's in our nature to be a bit bitchy from time to time, let's try to minimize those moments. Being an open-minded, caring person who doesn't do things to hurt others intentionally is what makes you better, not for others, but for yourself. And when you're kind to yourself, you'll be the same way with the people you love.
As for labels, where to start? Here's a little story:
I don't eat meat, because I love animals too much. And that's the exact terminology I use. So, you're probably like, "oh, another hippie vegan!" Right there is a problem. You don't know a person, yet you're mockingly labeling them. But, what really should bother us is the way we treat people who like to party or women who love short dresses. They'll be slut-shamed, and some of them barely had sex. Talk about destroying one's self-esteem!
Moral police or voice of reason?
Most people merely want to express themselves and live their lives to the fullest. If you're going to smoke, do it. If you love the party scene, more power to you. Unless you are harming me, in any way, what do I care about your whereabouts?
You can be intellectual and say stupid things. And you can have no formal education and be fantastic at what you do. If we replace judgment with respect, we will make life easier for everyone, including our kids.
Your family values are part of your early years. But, as an adult, you should rethink and reinvent these values to serve you, not the other way around.
Stop being afraid of some ancient social norms and allow yourself to live and be anything you wanted to be. Those restrictions are making your life less, and you end up as a very bitter old person.
You were raised right because you take care of yourself, and you know what's harmful and what's not. If you smoke, party, drink, have casual sex, or don't give a darn about what's cool and what's out, good for you! We need more people like you because your bravery to show your true self and not give a darn will inspire!
One last thing: we need to redefine what being kind means. If someone is stepping on your toes, it's your right to say something. But, always keep in mind that it's a two-way street, so simply practice what you preach!
Don't be a hypocrite! Instead, choose to be your imperfect, authentic self, and do whatever you need to feel joy. You have one life, use it, and certainly do not let people treat you like crap!