Being Insecure Has Ruined A Lot Of My Relationships, But I Am Working On It

During my childhood, I struggled with low self-confidence, especially because of my glasses. As I grew older and started dating, my insecurity only worsened, causing problems in my relationships. Unfortunately, my insecurity ruined love for me on multiple occasions.

1. I Held Back Out Of Lack Of Self-Love

The adage about needing to love yourself before expecting others to love you is incredibly accurate. I only fully comprehended this when I was in a relationship with a genuinely caring guy, but I found myself incapable of being my true self around him. My insecurities and fear of being hurt hindered the growth of our love.

2. It's Hard For Someone To Love My Flaws If I'm So Afraid Of Them

My insecurities, both physical and personal flaws, crippled me to the point where I was unable to let anyone get close to me. The fear of someone seeing my flaws made me feel uncomfortable and unworthy, leading to self-hatred.

3. I Expected Men To Cheat, And Guess What? They Did

Insecurity about my abilities and what men expected of me created a fear of infidelity in my relationships. Sadly, my fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy as my partners ended up cheating, leaving me feeling even more unworthy and insecure, pushing people away.

4. I Never Allowed Myself To Be Happy

The fear of a relationship ending due to my own insecurities prevented me from fully enjoying the present moment. It was exhausting to constantly worry about the future and drained any joy I could have experienced.

5. I Didn't Feel Worthy, So I Settled For Less

Settling for subpar partners was a result of my lack of self-love and self-worth. I would either be taken advantage of or try to fix my partner to gain validation. It was a false sense of love that ultimately led to dissatisfaction.

6. My Insecurities And Lack Of Confidence Were Readily Apparent

I lacked confidence in myself and my physical appearance, which detracted from any potential attraction. By constantly pointing out my flaws and putting myself down, I made it difficult for others to see me in a positive light and truly appreciate my qualities. It was as if I was telling them not to choose me because of my perceived imperfections.

7. I Didn't Realize Looks Are Not The Only Things Guys Want

My physical appearance played a significant role in my insecurity. Despite my constant concern about not being attractive enough, a guy I dated, who initially showed interest in me, lost interest not because of my looks, but because of my lack of confidence. This experience acted as a crucial reminder for me.

8. I Was Always Competing

My insecurities made me vulnerable to comparing myself to other women, which felt like a toxic competition. However, I eventually realized that I could never win since there would always be someone who was more beautiful or thinner. This unhealthy mindset caused havoc in my relationships as no one wants to be with a girlfriend who gets jealous around pretty girls or expects her partner to prefer someone else.

9. I Shut Down To Protect Myself, But It Caused Me Harm

Due to my sense of unworthiness of love, I would close myself off and terminate relationships prematurely, under the guise of protecting myself from hurt. But in hindsight, it was foolish of me because, with a bit of courage and self-love, I could have given happiness a chance and who knows what the outcome would have been.

10. I'm The Only One Who Could Fix My Insecurities

Depending on a partner to love and accept me with all my flaws was something I used to believe would increase my value and boost my confidence. However, relying on another person for self-worth is not the solution. I came to the realization that I'm the only one who can fix my insecurities, and I'm thankful that I did. I used to feel good about myself only when my relationship was going well, and bad when it wasn't. But I refused to be a yo-yo anymore and cut the strings that held me back.

11. Don't Get Me Wrong: I Still Feel Insecure Sometimes

Although I still have moments when I feel unworthy of love, I understand that self-love is a process, and I'm still working on it. At least, whatever I'm feeling now is about me, and I'm not allowing others to cloud my sense of worth. I'm not seeking relationships to fix me anymore; instead, I'm focusing on personal growth every day so that I can have the healthiest relationships possible.