Itʼs taken me a good 3 years to be able to sit down and start writing from the end of my book.

Itʼs taken me a good 3 years to be able to sit down and start writing from the end of my book.

We had fought before but never as much as we had this night. I was inebriated, it was the first time I had ever drowned my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle and as dangerous as that path would be to go down…at that moment I didn’t care. I had seen too much, been through too much and felt my heart die in the last few hours. I can’t say what had happened just yet, the story itself is something that will shock many and stun others.

Sitting in the hotel room that afternoon I wondered how he was going to handle the news.

As I looked down at my phone with Hugh’s name sitting so innocently on the screen I was filled with an emotion that I had never felt with him before, pure disgust.

By the time we had reached the border of the crowd I felt as though all eyes were on us. Hugh grabbed my hand and yanked me behind the black curtain that concealed the backstage area. I knew deep down that people weren’t looking at us but considering the circumstances of our relationship my nerves always managed to bring out the worst in me.

As I leant against the balcony, struggling to stand and holding onto the railing for more than just physical support I tried to clear a path in my seriously clouded mind.

Something that I hadn’t been able to put in the book was well and truly before Hugh returned but after I had seen the photos and messages on his phone. After I walked back into the bedroom, completely and utterly disgusted in the human being that I had been sleeping next to only a few hours earlier I realised it wasn’t him that I was actually angry with.

The moment I reached the ground floor I realized that my world would never be the same.

“Ava, How many times are we going to go over this. I want to be here” As soon as the words came out of his mouth my head was filled with doubts.

I never expected to be writing this letter.

I haven’t continued this on from the last confession for a number of reasons but I will be giving you something that isn’t in my book.

*Any entries from Hugh’s perspective are very fiction based some are also infused with conversations we have had and my interpretations*

When I was younger I had grown up around a lot of people as my parents were very social. There was one man that was quite close to my uncle and my mother and father.

After I arranged the meeting with Ava I reluctantly ended the call savouring the final words she spoke with such an enthusiasm that I knew I would hold onto until we met.

Waking up the next day I felt fresh and bursting with anticipation…almost like the nights sleep had left me with a new exciting lease on life.

A night with limited sleep never agrees with me. I guess I am like most people, however when it is night with barely any sleep and my mind has been ticking over relentlessly thinking about something emotional…that takes a toll on every part of me.

Within five seconds I knew the answer to my own questions. I knew I didn’t have the strength to fight for the unknown but at the same time, I knew I couldn’t leave Hugh. Something inside me told me that if I did, I would crumble and wouldn’t ever be able to get back up.

When neither of us could breathe any longer his lips left mine and a ragged breath followed as he slid his hand from the back of my neck up and gently rubbed his thumb across my cheek, cupping my jaw with the palm of his hand before resting his forehead on my chin.