Do you have doubts about whether he genuinely enjoys spending time with you or if you're just a temporary source of entertainment for him? To avoid finding yourself in a frustrating scenario, here are 13 indications that the relationship isn't his primary focus. Unfortunately, it appears that you are not the woman he envisions as a long-term partner.
1. He's Preoccupied With Something Every Time You're Together And You Can't Figure Out Why
If it appears as though his thoughts are frequently elsewhere, it could give rise to concerns about his level of interest in you. Alternatively, it could signify that he only engages with the relationship when he seeks some thrill in his life. A typical illustration of this is the guy who texts you at 3 AM but never during the day.
2. He Always Has So Much Going On
He's constantly dealing with drama and struggling to keep up with his busy life. But where do you fit into all of this? Well, the truth is, you don't really fit in. He's compartmentalized you into a small corner of his life, where it's convenient for him to have you around while he continues to live like a single man. You can identify this type of guy by how he only makes time for you on specific days or during certain hours, particularly when he wants to have some fun. It's a messed up situation.
3. He's In Bad Place
He's currently dealing with a lot of stress-inducing situations. He's lost his job, he's struggling to make rent for his apartment this month, and he recently had a terrible skiing accident - you get the idea. You met him during a time when his life was in disarray and he needed a distraction. You may feel like it's fate for you to be there to support him, but the reality is that it probably isn't. Most likely, he's just hoping to have some positivity in his chaotic life. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, as long as you feel secure in the relationship. Hopefully, he doesn't plan on cutting you out of his life when things start looking up for him.
4. He's Lonely AF
He confides in you about his feelings of loneliness and how much he longed to find a partner - sounds endearing, doesn't it? However, if it appears that his loneliness was the primary driving force behind his decision to ask you out, that's a cause for concern. Ideally, you want to be with someone who is already content and fulfilled before you enter their life. Otherwise, it can feel like you're simply there to fill a void and keep their bed warm at night - which is definitely not a desirable situation.
5. He's Got Nothing Going On
He frequently tells you that you're the only bright spot in his life, and that you're his entire world - but after a while, this can start to feel more unsettling than romantic. A man who has nothing else going on in his life can come across as uninteresting and unfulfilled, using a relationship as a means of excitement and self-validation. You deserve someone who brings more to the table and values you for who you are, rather than just using you to fill a void in their life.
6. He Keeps You On The Back Burner
He only reaches out to you when he's feeling spontaneous, or in other words, when his other plans have fallen through. He's a master of the "I was just in the neighborhood" excuse, which really translates to "I'm trying to be romantic, but my main priority couldn't hang out tonight, so do you want to go out instead?" It's incredibly convenient for him that you're able to fill any gaps in his life.
7. He's Never Been Single
It can be concerning if a guy quickly jumps from one relationship to another, without taking any time to be single in between. This behavior suggests that he may be using relationships as a means of distraction from his problems or uncomfortable feelings. In reality, what he may really need is to spend some time alone and work on himself.
8. Everyone Hates Him
He appears to lack any support from family, friends, or former colleagues, and constantly portrays himself as the victim who's been abandoned by everyone. It's difficult to believe that all of these people could be in the wrong. Now that he's with you, he may be hoping to prove his worth by having a new, shiny relationship, or to convince others that he's actually a decent person, despite evidence to the contrary.
9. He's Out Of An LTR
He's recently ended a long-term, committed relationship, but is already eager to start anew. He claims to be over his ex and wants to dive into a relationship with you. However, this kind of behavior can be concerning, as it seems like he's treating you as a way to forget about his past. Don't be surprised if this intense and passionate romance burns out quickly.
10. You Don't Fit The Mold
When he discusses his past relationships, you realize that you're not compatible with him at all. Your interests, hobbies, and values are completely different from his. It's possible that he's just seeking some excitement and variety in his life, much like trying out new types of food. However, this usually ends up with him returning to his familiar preferences. If you don't match his expectations for a partner, it's best to leave before he confirms it further.
11. He's There For The Good Times
You can easily spot someone who is only dating for their own self-interest by their behavior. They show up only when everything is going well, and there's a party to enjoy. But when you face challenging times and need someone to support you, they are nowhere to be found. If a guy is only seeking a distraction, he won't be interested in dealing with stress and complications. He only wants to have a good time! However, his self-centeredness is not worth your time or energy.
Signs You're More Than A Distraction To Him
If you see any of these signs, then you are not just a distraction to him.
1. He Sincerely Wants To Help
This guy doesn't shy away from helping out when you mention something that needs fixing. He's always looking for ways to lend a hand, whether it's helping you work on your car or resolving a conflict at work. He's willing to go out of his way to make your life easier.
2. He Apologizes When He Messes Up
Even the best partners make mistakes, as nobody's perfect. However, a man who truly values you will handle his mistakes differently from someone who's just with you for amusement. If he sincerely apologizes when he's late or causes you distress, he's demonstrating that he's willing to set aside his ego to make amends with you. He genuinely cares about what you think of him, even when he's failed to keep his promises.
3. He Cares About Your Opinion And Asks For It
If your partner is not committed to the relationship, you may observe that he does not seek your input in his life choices, not even for trivial matters. Conversely, if your partner consults you on a range of topics, such as how to request a salary increase from his employer or what type of garbage bags to purchase, it is an indication that he holds your thoughts in high esteem. This demonstrates that you are not a mere distraction but an essential component of his life.
4. Even When You're Not Around, He's Excited About You
If any of his relatives have mentioned that he talks excessively about you, it could be a positive signal. While any man can make you feel cherished during your time together, if he can't stop thinking about you even when you're not around, it indicates that he is deeply enamored with you.
5. He Is Always Trying To Include You In His Interests
Regardless of his hobbies, whether it's cars, fishing, or golf, he endeavors to involve you in some way. He desires you to be an integral part of his life, which entails incorporating you into his passions. Occasionally, oblige him even if you don't particularly enjoy his hobbies.
6. He's At That Point In Life Where Commitment Could Work
Have you encountered many men who still reside with their mothers, lack employment, and have no aspirations in life? If your partner is at a secure phase in his life where he has a stable profession and has clear short-term and long-term objectives, he is more inclined to desire to establish a life with you.
7. You've Met His Family And Friends
It's a significant indication that your partner values you more than just a mere distraction if he is serious about you. Several men refrain from introducing their partners to their loved ones unless they are genuinely interested in them. If he is introducing you to the people who matter most in his life, it is evident that he wants to maintain a lasting connection with you.
8. He Goes Out Of His Way To Make Real Plans With You
If your partner is committed to you, he won't procrastinate and leave everything until the eleventh hour. Instead, he will plan ahead, ensuring that the time he spends with you is carefully considered, rather than hastily arranged. If you're just a mere distraction to him, he will only contact you when he has no other plans.
9. Your Happiness Matters To Him
He consistently backs you in whatever pursuits you choose to pursue in life. He motivates you to strive forward, and when you're feeling low, he's there to lift your spirits. A man who is indifferent towards you won't be bothered when you're feeling distressed. In contrast, a man who desires a long-term relationship with you considers your happiness as a valuable investment.
10. He Never Fails To Show Affection
Your partner doesn't need to be clinging to you every minute of the day, but at the very least, he should hold your hand. He might surprise you with a hug and a kiss while you're watching TV. If he has long-term plans with you, he won't be able to resist being affectionate with you, whether you're in private or in public.
11. He Makes A Special Spot For You At His Place
If you've been in a relationship for some time, and your partner has made space for your toothbrush in the bathroom and allocated a section of his closet for some of your clothes, it implies that he envisions you being a part of his life for the foreseeable future. It's a simple gesture, but one that demonstrates that you're the only woman he intends to spend time with at his place from now on. He's not searching for a mere distraction but a genuine partner.