You may have been together for several months or even years, but you feel like your relationship isn't progressing. Meanwhile, your friends who have been together for a shorter time than you are getting married. So, are you in a serious relationship or just a long-term fling? Consider asking yourself these questions to gain clarity:
1. Do you know his body better than his mind?
If you're able to list ten spots where your partner enjoys being kissed but struggle to recall just five of their preferred movies, it could indicate that your relationship lacks depth. Understanding your partner's pet peeves should take priority over knowing intimate details about their body.
2. Do you make realistic plans for the future?
Discussing potential places to relocate as a couple is a practical and constructive conversation, but daydreaming about what you would name an imaginary island if you won the lottery is not a productive way to prepare for your future together. While hypothetical scenarios can be fun to ponder, they don't necessarily contribute to the growth of your relationship.
3. Do you see him every day or every month?
If your interaction with him is limited to only once a month and that time is spent solely on having sex, it's unlikely that you're achieving #RelationshipGoals. While a healthy sex life is commendable, a fulfilling relationship requires more than just physical intimacy.
4. Do you involve him in your plans?
If you can plan a trip abroad without informing him until the last minute, it's possible that he is not as involved in your life as you desire. Ideally, your partner should be a significant part of your life and actively involved in making important decisions together.
5. Is he seeing anyone else?
Although an open relationship may seem appealing to some, if your partner has been sexually involved with other women, it's likely that you're not in a traditional relationship at all. The fundamental principle of a traditional relationship is monogamy, and any deviation from that requires mutual agreement and consent.
6. What label has he given you?
If, after several months of being sexually intimate, he continues to introduce you as his friend, it's probable that he has no intention of upgrading your status to girlfriend. This behavior suggests that he desires to keep his options open and is not ready for a committed relationship.
7. Have you actually met his family?
Regardless of any discomfort that may arise during initial introductions, if he envisions a future with you, he should have already introduced you to his parents. Delaying such an introduction suggests that he may not see a long-term future together, or he may not be ready to take the relationship to the next level.
8. Are you putting in all the effort?
If you find yourself as the sole party working towards progressing the relationship, it's unlikely that you'll make any significant headway. Achieving a successful and fulfilling relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners. It takes two individuals to build and advance a relationship.
9. Have you had a major fight before?
Just because you haven't had any arguments in your relationship doesn't necessarily mean that it's exceptionally strong. It's possible that he doesn't care enough to engage in conflict with you, rather than it being an indication of a healthy relationship. Open communication and a willingness to work through issues are essential elements of a healthy and robust relationship.
10. Do you know anything "real" about him?
If you can recall his favorite color and the name of his pet, but are unaware of his childhood experiences and future aspirations, it could indicate that your relationship is merely a prolonged fling. Understanding your partner's past and future goals is vital for building a deeper connection and advancing the relationship beyond a casual fling.
11. Do you celebrate an anniversary?
Don't justify his lack of acknowledgment of your anniversary by stating that he finds it overly sentimental. If you were a committed couple, you would, at the very least, remember the date on which you two first became a couple.
12. Do you actually feel like a couple?
If he never takes you out on dates or buys you gifts for special occasions like birthdays, it's probable that you're either in a fling or a subpar relationship. Either way, it's unlikely that it will lead to anything meaningful or fulfilling in the long run. It may be in your best interest to move on and seek a more rewarding relationship.