Are Women Being Gaslighted Into Forgiving Men?

Forgiveness is something that we are all encouraged to extend as and when the need arises. Forgiving someone doesn't only benefit the person you forgive but can also help you by making it easier to move forward and let bygones be bygones. However, some men play on the importance of forgiveness to gaslight women. Often, these are men who are looking to be forgiven for something even though they don't deserve it.

While forgiveness is important, it is not something that can just be doled out on demand. If someone has done something incredibly bad or hurtful to another person, that other person simply cannot forgive them at times. Even if they agree to forget and not mention it again, they neither forget nor forgive certain things. However, some labeling that is banded around by those who haven't received the forgiveness they seek may be forcing some women's hands.

What Is the Labeling?

When someone has done something bad to you, there are many emotions you might go through, with common ones being anger, hurt, and sadness. However, by attaching alternative labels to these emotions, some women are gaslighted into not speaking out, hiding their feelings, and being forced into forgiving and forgetting.

So, how is this being done? Here is an example: a woman may be feeling extremely hurt and sad by something someone has done to her, which means she cannot forgive them. She has every right not to forgive them if this is how she feels, but she may be made to feel shallow or ridiculous by being told she is overly sensitive. Some may tell her she is simply holding a grudge and label her as spiteful due to this. As a result, some women end up hiding their hurt and agreeing to forgive someone simply to avoid being labeled in this way.

If a woman is angry about something that has been done to her and is not prepared to forgive and forget, some people may accuse her of being a woman scorned and may label her as bitter or say she cannot move on. Again, this can lead to some women forgetting how they feel and being forced to forgive someone even though they don't want to. They don't want to be seen as or accused of being vengeful and irrational, which are words that some might throw their way.

Don't Feel Manipulated

When women are forced to give forgiveness through these tactics and words, they are basically being manipulated into doing so. If you have been through a bad time because of something another person has done or said, you are not obliged to forgive them. Forgiveness is something that has to come from the heart and not just words, which is why saying you will forgive someone when this is not the case is completely pointless. It is, therefore, important not to feel manipulated into forgiving a person.