Forgiveness is something that we are all encouraged to extend as and when the need arises. Forgiving someone doesn’t only benefit the person you forgive but can also benefit you by making it easier to move forward and let bygones be bygones. However, there are some men who play on the importance of forgiveness in order to gaslight women. Often, these are men who are looking to be forgiven for something even though they don’t deserve it.
While forgiveness is important, it is not something that can just be doled out on demand. If someone has done something incredibly bad or hurtful to another person, that other person simply cannot forgive them at times. Even if they agree to forget and not mention it again, they neither forget nor forgive certain things. However, some labelling that is banded around by those who haven’t received the forgiveness they seek may be forcing the hands of some women.
What Is the Labelling?
When someone has done something bad to you, there are many emotions you might go through, with common ones being anger, hurt, and sadness. However, by attaching alternative labels to these emotions, some women are gaslighted into not speaking out, hiding their emotions, and being forced into forgiving and forgetting.
So, how is this being done? Well, here is an example: a woman may be feeling extremely hurt and sad by something someone has done to her, and this means she cannot forgive them. She has every right to not forgive them if this is how she feels, but then she may be made to feel shallow or ridiculous by being told she is being overly sensitive Some may tell her she is simply holding a grudge and label her as being spiteful as a result of this. As a result, some women end up hiding their hurt and agreeing to forgive someone simply to avoid being labelled in this way.
If a woman is angry about something that has been done to her and is not prepared to forgive and forget, some people may accuse her of being a woman scorned and may label her as bitter or say she cannot move on. Again, this can lead to some women forgetting about how they feel and feeling forced to forgive someone even though they don’t want to. They don’t want to be seen as or accused of being vengeful and irrational, which are words that some might throw their way.
Don’t Feel Manipulated
When women are forced to give forgiveness through the use of these tactics and words, they are basically being manipulated into doing so. If you have been through a bad time because of something another person has done or said, you are not obliged to forgive them. Forgiveness is something that has to come from the heart and not just words, which is why saying you will forgive someone when this is not the case is completely pointless. It is, therefore, important not to feel manipulated into forgiving a person.