Walking up to a guy in a group is one guaranteed way to get a guy to notice you. But it takes a little prep-work on your part. You have to have a plan.
No one wants to end up standing in front of their crush, totally blanking on what to say. You’ll need to walk a fine line between being assertive, classy, and a bit mysterious.
Is it okay to approach a guy when he’s in a group?
Girl, please. Of course, you can approach him! He’s not a wild station – he’s just a guy. And odds are, he’s probably dying to talk to you, but he feels awkward doing it in front of all his friends.
It’s time to brush off those dusty cultural limitations. You might be sitting there, ready to throw an argument about traditional gender roles at me. But listen – nothing gives guys more confidence than a girl approaching them.
Despite how cool and confident they might seem, guys stress over approaching girls too. If you come up first, you take some of the pressure off – making you instantly more attractive.
You also don’t want to be too pushy or clingy – you want to respect his space just like you’d want him to respect yours if the roles were reversed. So here are a few tips to come out of this with a hot date for Friday night.
Timing is Everything
It can be tough to find a window of opportunity when he’s laughing it up with his buddies. But you’d be surprised what opportunities might pop up if you’re looking for it. Maybe he steps away from the group for a minute to grab another drink from the bar. That’s a great time to approach him.
But you don’t have to wait until he’s alone either. You can walk right up to him in the group if you want to. But timing is important with this too. You don’t want to interrupt the punchline of his best friend’s joke – that probably won’t go over too well.
Listen for a break in the conversation. Or maybe he turns to talk to just one guy instead of the whole group.
Confidence is Sexy
Guys like a girl who knows exactly what she wants. Start by telling yourself that he wants to talk to you. Then throw your shoulders back and get it, girl!
Give him a gentle touch on the arm to get his attention, and linger for an extra minute – he’ll notice. Politely introduce yourself, and tell him you noticed him from across the room. Hand over your phone number and tell him to text you if he’s interested. Then walk away.
Okay, now you don’t want to be that girl with the crazy eyes who stares at him for 20 minutes without blinking. Be cool. Glance at him, especially if you see he’s looking at you, and then look away. If he’s still looking, flash him a smile and give him a low-key wave. Mouth “hi” from across the room.
If he does it back, you’re in.
Now when you head over there and start talking, make sure you make some eye contact. By now, he should be turning away from his friends and focusing on you.
Rock That Body Language
If you’re feeling nervous, you’re not alone. Walking up to someone in a group isn’t always an easy thing. But try not to let your body language give away just how freaked out you are.
When you keep your arms folded or crossed and your head down, it gives the wrong impression. You’ll end up looking more like a freaked out little kid than a confident woman.
Keep your head up and your arms down at your side (it helps if you’re holding something to keep your hands busy). If he reaches for a handshake, be firm but not Schwarzenegger firm. Oh, and don’t forget that light arm touch – very important.
What if you get rejected?
Odds are if you’ve done the right things, he’ll probably be interested. But what if he says no? Ouch! What now?
Well, if you followed all of our other advice, you should be in pretty good shape! There are lots of reasons why a guy might turn you down. Maybe he’s already interested in someone or maybe he just got out of a messy relationship. Or perhaps you’re just not his type.
If this is the case, there is nothing wrong with you. You may not like strawberry ice cream, but it doesn’t mean that strawberry ice cream is bad, right?
If he says no, just smile, shrug your shoulders, and casually say “okay” before walking off. We’re willing to bet his friends will be wondering what’s wrong with him.
Set up an official date
So let’s assume he’s interested (because you’re amazing, and he probably will be). Inviting him to text or call you is great. But don’t be afraid to take it a step further.
If you like him, the goal is to go out on an actual date. You can ask him out for drinks or dinner – just have a spot or two in mind.
Don’t forget that he’s still out with his friends. Unless he seems like he wants to keep talking, tell him you’ll leave him to his buddies, but that you’re looking forward to his call. Then walk away and leave him wanting more!