The media often portrays making out as an incredibly enjoyable and exciting activity, but for me, and possibly for others, I disagree. Despite its romanticized portrayal in rom-coms, I cannot stand making out and wonder if I'm alone in this sentiment.
1. That Doesn't Mean I Don't Like Kissing
Kissing can be a beautiful and intimate way to bond with a partner, especially in the early stages of a relationship, and can lead to a more intimate connection. However, it's essential to distinguish between pre-sex kissing and a full-blown makeout session, as they are entirely different experiences.
2. There's Nothing Sexy About Laying In Bed, Swapping Spit For An Extended Period Of Time With Nothing Else Happening
Although it's a great way to start, after twenty minutes of just making out, I've had enough. I'm already turned on, so let's move things forward and get naked. The clock is ticking, and I don't want to lose my excitement before we get to the main event.
3. You Get The WORST Taste In Your Mouth
There's no denying that if you engage in prolonged tongue-kissing, you're bound to experience an unpleasant taste, and those who claim otherwise are simply not being truthful. It's practically a scientific fact. For me, it's an unpleasant flavor that reminds me of stale saliva, and that's the best way I can articulate it.
4. It Gets So Boring
When it comes to passionate kissing, the first few minutes are thrilling. However, as time passes in the same monotonous way, my thoughts begin to drift away. Eventually, I find myself less focused on the heat of the moment and more preoccupied with mundane tasks like grocery shopping.
5. My Neck Starts To Hurt
Maintaining the ideal position for making out is key. Simply lying flat next to each other won't cut it. However, after a while, your neck begins to ache, similar to the feeling of doing crunches incorrectly. It's definitely not the sexiest sensation and not something anyone wants to think about when they're trying to enjoy themselves.
6. You Can Only Turn Your Head Back And Forth So Many Times
First, you turn left and kiss for a few minutes, then right for another few minutes. Eventually, you return to the left again. Making out doesn't offer much variety, and creativity can only go so far before it becomes repetitive.
7. The Feeling Of A Tongue In Your Mouth Gets… Weird
At first, the sensation of a tongue moving around in your mouth can be thrilling, but after a while, it can start to feel uncomfortable. It's similar to staring at a word for too long, causing it to lose its meaning and become nonsense. Except, in this case, it's a feeling rather than a word that becomes unsettling. It's enough to make you shudder.
8. I Get Extremely Self-Conscious
We've all experienced how easy it is to overthink hooking up, particularly during kissing. Unlike during sex when there are many distractions, making out is a simple enough activity that leaves plenty of room for critical thoughts, especially during prolonged sessions.
9. The Sound
Take a moment to visualize it - the sound of a tongue repetitively lapping, like a dog drinking from a bowl. It's not an attractive sound. To add to the discomfort, there are also occasional slurping noises that can break the momentum of the moment.
In case there is a list of ultimate turn-offs, and it's highly likely that such a list exists on the internet, drooling on your partner would definitely be in the Top 5. This is not anyone's fault, though; when you keep your mouth hanging open for too long, drooling just occurs. And believe me, it happens quite often.
11. I Want To Get To The Sex
I apologize if what I'm about to say sounds unromantic or selfish, but the reality is that we're most likely hooking up for the same reason: to have sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind some kissing or foreplay, but I also want to get to the main event as soon as possible. After all, I might have deadlines to meet, errands to run, and naps to take, so I can't spend half an hour making out with you before having sex. Sorry not sorry, everyone.