You know when you grow up with a really charismatic and funny older sibling, and then a charming, chatty younger brother and you presume that you must just be the classic insular middle child introvert because of that? But then after going through school and making it through to college you find that, when on your own without the social constructs and shadows cast by your family, you’re actually pretty outgoing too?

That doesn’t mean to say that you aren’t also often nervous in social situations, but maybe people can be more than one thing! Who knew!

It took so long for me to realise that my personality could not be easily identified as either an ‘introvert’ or an ‘extrovert’ – it’s much more complicated than that! 

Here are 6 reasons why you too might also face these complicated personality traits, and what it all means!

1 – You still don’t like public speaking.

I mean, who does, except for the musical theatre gang in high school? This doesn’t mean that you’ve magically transformed overnight into an extremely confident person who is capable of spontaneously breaking into song at the slightest of pushes. That’s fine, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t an extrovert. It’s all about the right company and where you’re comfortable. You will probably find that you want to sing and dance with your friends and family, maybe even within a sports team. Hey, maybe you’re even leading the dance!

Just because you know that you don’t like to put yourself out there in public like a formal Senator, doesn’t mean that you aren’t a dynamic, creative and bold individual in other respects. 

2 – You are often both the ‘you ask them’ and the ‘fine, I’ll do it’ person when waiting outside the teacher’s longue at high school.

This is a very good signal of the Introverted Extrovert/Extroverted Introvert complex. Often people find that academic situations bring out the necessary extrovert within them largely out of the threat of what may happen to a grade if we don’t step in. This is most often seen in – brace yourself for the flashbacks from the war – group projects.

Inevitably, there will be people that don’t pull their weight, or even show up!, and it’s left to the remainers to pull something together and take charge to organise everyone. That person was always me, ready  to boss people around and lead a speech in assembly if no one else would and we needed a better grade point average. You grit your teeth and just get on with it, largely because you know your stuff and feel better when you’re in control of the situation. 

3 – You still love to listen to other people talk.

Possibly even more than you love to talk yourself, it’s just who you are. It doesn’t mean that you don’t think you are a sufficiently interesting person to carry a conversation, but sometimes socialising is hard and it’s important to have a break and just listen to other people be interesting. We all have those moments. 

4 – Alone time is really important still.

You love to chat with other people, but sometimes it’s been a long day of socialising and there’s nothing more comforting than coming home and having time to yourself, without any pressures. It doesn’t mean that you don’t value the company of other people, you just need to prioritise yourself.

5 – Turns out, you love parties after all!

Yes, meeting new people in large groups has its difficulties, but it’s so fun to just let loose and get outside your own head every once in a while and see how other people see things and expand your own horizons.

6 – You still overthink like, everything.

I mean this probably won’t ever change, but just because you’re an extrovert or introvert or both doesn’t mean that you don’t obsess over things or get into a panic over irrational things that you can’t control. It just means you’re human.

So there you have it, a couple of ways you might also be an Introverted Extrovert!