What is Demisexuality and what does that have to do with me? Well, chances are you are demisexual without even realizing it. It might be common for you to see people talk about a guy they barely know or a girl they just met in a sexual nature. However, to you, you need a lot more than the physical. You need a stronger emotional connection.
If you experience things like this, such as being left out in these kinds of conversations, chances are you might be demisexual. You cannot experience any sexual attraction to a person you haven't formed a strong emotional connection with. The interesting thing about this is, it doesn't only apply to romantic relationships. As weird as you might feel about this, don't. It doesn't make your sexuality incomplete and neither does it make it "not good enough."
Demisexuals aren't confined to any sexual orientation. They can be straight, gay, or bi. This means it could literally be anybody. All you need is a strong emotional connection to want to be with someone. Demisexuals also feel desire and sexual attraction, however, only to a specific partner or people they have formed this bond with.
You might also want to know that it falls within the asexuality spectrum. If you're not familiar with asexuality, it is when a person does not experience any sexual attraction whatsoever. They could have emotional and mental attractions, however.
What Signs Should I Look Out For?
Demisexuals, unlike other people who don't fall in this line, don't get bothered about crushes. They rarely even have them. A crush could be a fleeting moment of wonder and nothing more. In fact, they stand higher chances of falling in love with a friend. Someone they already know and trust, rather than a stranger just because they are considered good-looking by society's standards.
It can also be really difficult for demisexuals on their first dates. Generally, you can tell if you like someone from your physical attraction to them at least. But as a demisexual, you need other signs that this could be a potential romantic partner on the first date.
On the internet today, there are lots of information on demisexuality. This helps a lot of people who aren't sure of their feelings fix the puzzle and get to know who they are.
What Are A Few Signs You Might Be Demisexual?
Some of the most important signs that you might be Demisexual have been listed above. However, let me break it down for you.
If you wait a long time before making out with a crush or a romantic interest, you might be Demisexual. You might also find it difficult to develop crushes on TV characters, actors, musicians, etc. Having a crush on random people is a whole new world you want no part in. When you finally have crushes, it's with people you know well enough and have a connection to.
How About Sexually? Do Demisexuals Have Sexual Feelings?
Being Demisexual doesn't put a halt to your sex life. You just don't process it like the rest of your peers or social media culture or society's expectations. In fact, physical contact or flirting with people you don't already have a developed relationship with will make you very uncomfortable.
You don't mind physical touch all day long from someone such as a long-term partner, but you just can't see yourself doing a one-night stand. Truthfully, you don't see how that makes sense.
Over The Phone (Texting, Social Media, Video Chat)
This ranges from person to person. Demisexuals might find it difficult connecting with someone over the phone that they haven't met. However, prolonged conversations and video calls can ease them into it better. When it comes to connections over the phone, the jury is still out on that one. Some people can tell who a person is and others will have to meet up and find out.
Demisexuals might begin conversations lightly online but meeting up and get to know you for you seals the deal. The reason being that a lot of people are different in real life compared to how they are on social media. This is where FaceTime comes in.
Should I Be Worried I'm Demisexual? Will I Ever Find Love?
No, you shouldn't be worried about this and yes, you will find love. There are a lot of people like yourself out there and it's just one of the dating processes. Letting people know (if you're comfortable with sharing the information) prepares them for what they will be facing.
You can explain you are Demisexual on dating apps or if someone is interested in you and you're willing to give it a try. This makes it easier to find more demisexual people. It also gives you a clear mind of what you should be looking for. This way, you don't have to deal with people randomly hooking you up or people wanting to just have casual sex.
What Else Should I Know?
As a Demisexual, the power is in your hands. You aren't abnormal to feel this way and there are lots of people like you out there. You shouldn't be bothered about not finding love or being alone. There's definitely someone for you out there.
Remember that Demisexuals aren't confined to one sexual orientation. Anyone can be Demisexual. Avoid forcing physical intimacy just to keep someone. You need to accept yourself and let them accept you too.