If "ability in disability" is a thing, Shane Burcaw will be one alleged fine example. Shane suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy that confines him to his wheelchair and is married to a non-disabled woman, Hannah Burcaw, who agrees that her husband satisfies her sexual needs.
After Hannah watched a documentary that featured Shane and reached out to him, the couple got together. They are now married and open up about one major challenge they face - trolls who keep questioning their sexual compatibility.
In an episode titled Laughing At Your Ableist BS in the StyleLikeU series on YouTube, they opened up about their sex life and the criticisms in their inter-abled relationship.
"Often, people assume that I'm Shane's sister or mom. We definitely get a lot of comments from straight men thinking that it's not fair that I'm with Shane and that I should be with them."
"People say that I couldn't possibly be satisfied, we get that everyday."
Shane backed her up, saying:
"They perceive that I can't have sex in their very limited, missionary man f***s woman. They think that is the be-all and end-all of sex."
"Little do they know... Our intimacy benefits from my disability, and our intimacy is not just me enjoying it. It doesn't look like what you see in movies, but I can totally do it. I am, more often than not, the initiator."
Speaking about how they respond to trolls, Shane added:
"A non-disabled man might come up to Hannah and start rubbing her shoulders, and I just say 'Hey, do you wanna go have sex?' and I know that that probably shakes people like 'Oh that must not be romantic' but take our word for it. After I ask that, we are romantic."
Well, who wouldn't back off after that?
The couple also shared intimate details about how they set the pace to get things done.
"When we are in bed together, I can ask her, 'Will you roll me towards you?' or 'Can you move my arm so I can reach your neck or cheek?'"
Since it might be a little awkward to say this out loud, Hannah explains that they have a shorthand for these. Thus, Shane doesn't always have to voice them out.
Hannah even added more details:
"In general, Shane uses his voice in ways that other people might just physically do something."
Previously when they spoke about how they work things out "down there," Shane shared: "My head is not proportional to the size of my body... and one other part of me is not quite proportional. I'll let you assume what it is. It's not my toes."
Nothing a sense of humor can't get you out of, and that is one of Shane's strengths.
The kind of relationship the couple share is pretty impressive. They are so comfortable with and understand each other's minds and bodies. Hannah said she "knows" her husband's body and "preferences" just as she knows hers.
They are proof that intimacy does not have to be aggressive copulation.