Sex can be sacred, sublime, all-consuming, and the reason you momentarily forget all the ills of this world and fly on the wings of pleasure for a few unforgettable moments. There is nothing like it, and for those who have experienced true sexual passion, it is a necessity comparable to food and water.
If you often feel like there is more to the pleasure of sex than you have ever experienced, this guide is for you. Your romantic relationship should be one of the most passionate relationships ever, especially in the bedroom.
Most people remember how exciting the early stages of their romance were. The sex felt amazing, and the intimate desire unquenchable.
Over time, that changes for most people. At this point, the process takes a lot of effort and the whole affair is not half as enjoyable as it once was.
As you know, few things can kill a romance faster than lackluster bedroom performance.
Many women and men suffer from low sexual drives. What makes the problem worse is the fatigue that makes lovemaking seem like a chore.
Many people may have heard the disappointing "honey. I'm too tired" reply when they try to get intimate at the end of the day. Others will put up with it even though they are too exhausted to enjoy it "for the sake of the relationship."
However, you can get back your passion and improve your sexual drive. Here are ways you can reconnect with your libido and revamp your love life.
Where Did The Passionate Sex Go To In The First Place?
A lot of things can ruin the passion in your sex life.
The first reason passion dies off is the assumption that seduction ends the moment you tie the knot. The truth is that flirting and seduction have to stay alive in a relationship if the passion is to remain.
Then there is stress, which affects many lovers when the responsibilities of adulthood weigh too heavily on them.
Stress can slow down everything in your life, and your sex life is no exception. If you are too stressed to invite your partner to a session of earth-shuttering lovemaking, then the passion might die off over time.
Additionally, drastic life changes can also kill your libido. For instance, the introduction of kids into your life might leave your sex life on its deathbed. Parenting is a huge responsibility, and it can deny you a chance to think about yourself for at least several years.
Also note that personalities also play a role in the kind of sex life you will have with your partner.
Some people like to try kinky fantasies, while others want nothing of the sort. We also have people who love to dominate, while others enjoy being servile.
Therefore, you need to have a very close look at the kind of personalities you and your partner have so you can make the best of the situation.
The truth is that everyone can have passionate sex as long as his or her needs and desires are accommodated. We all have our sexual energies, and although they differ from one person to another, they can work to our benefit whenever we are getting intimate with our partners.
How To Get Back The Passion Into Your Sex Life
Bringing the passion back into your life might take a bit of effort, but it can be done. Here are some proven ways to make your lovemaking more passionate.
1. Think About It
The first step is changing your thought process. If you don't imagine having a passionate sex life, then it might not be in the works for you.
As long as you can envision a more thrilling love life, then it can also become a reality for you. You cannot enjoy passionate sex if that's the last thing on your mind.
2. Master Bedroom Talk
Secondly, you need to work on your sex talk. Words can change your love life in a big way.
That is why you need to learn how to talk dirty, and also master the kind of things you should avoid saying in the bedroom.
3. Learn How To Touch Each Other
Learn how to touch each other while getting it on. The key to intense passion is patience.
You can build up the sexual tension through sensual touching and an ability to delay pleasure.
4. Understand Each Other's Sexual Desires
Improved self-awareness about your sexual needs and desires is also an important part of this process. The same goes for your partner.
Whenever you are getting intimate, make sure you are aware of each other's desires. If you have any unresolved sexual issues, you should make sure you work on them.
5. Calm Your Anxiety
Having anxiety is a great way to ruin your romance. So, if these intimate moments are often accompanied by anxiety, then your sex life will inevitably fall short of your expectations.
Similarly, issues like shame and guilt can destroy your sex life by taking away your sexual desire.
6. Get Professional Help
That said, if the reasons behind your flailing sex life include things like illness, unfaithfulness, or sexual trauma, then you will need more serious interventions to get back your passion.
Otherwise, you can also try to use meditation to refocus your mind on having passion-filled sexual encounters. If all fails, there are also medical or dietary interventions you can try to boost your libido.
7. Read More About Passionate Sex
You can also read up on literature specifically dedicated to people to get back their rousing sex lives, such as Mintz's A Tired Woman's Guide To Passionate Sex. Some experts in this field have complained that couples lack sexual passion simply because they don't have the right vocabulary or the right ideas and fantasies.
Reading some of these books can give you a lot of clues. The mind needs arousal as much as any other part of your body, and if the Kama Sutra isn't doing it for you, another masterpiece might.
8. Understand Each Other's Personalities
Understand that while some people are sexually adventurous, others are tamer in their desires. Differences in perceptions about sex have caused intimacy between a lot of couples to die down.
Hopefully, you and your partner were sexually compatible from the get-go so that any suggestions you make will not be dismissed as "insane."
9. Change Things Up
If the reason the sex has become boring is that you don't go out much, you can try to have sex in a less likely venue. Of course, be sure not to violate any public decency laws.
You can try to get it on in other rooms in your house, such as the bathroom or the kitchen. Unfortunately, while most couples seem to understand this, they don't pay attention to how comfortable the setting actually is.
Although sex in your sitting room might feel exciting and scandalous, the two of you should still be comfortable enough to actually enjoy the adventure.
10. Take It A Step At A Time
While some people can accept that more exciting sex life is necessary, not all of them might have the courage to give this journey a try. The good thing is that you can take one step at a time and keep the journey to full-blown sexual passion manageable.
It could start with something as simple as showering together or having a candlelit dinner. Sensual music that gets you in the mood might also help.
Is That All It Takes?
If these tips are all it takes to fix your sex life, then good for you. However, note that you might not fix all your sexual problems at once.
So, give yourself time as you diagnose the reason behind your low sexual drive, and understand that you might have to try a few things before finding a solution that works.
Having a supportive partner also helps. That is why you have to be willing to lay bare your issues so that your partner understands what you need to do to improve your sex life.
The best time to talk about your sex life is when it's actually happening. At this time, there are fewer inhibitions and judgments.
If you have no idea how to start, you can start by telling your partner you love them.
All in all, it should be a pretty exciting and rewarding journey of self-discovery. Remember that passionate sex is sustainable. All it takes is a bit of effort to keep the fiery connection alive.