Addictive, intense, toxic, and damaging are just some of the words that can be used to describe the relationship between an empath and a narcissist. When we say toxic, we mean for the empath.
You see, an empath is a natural healer. They feel what other people feel as strongly as they do. And better than that, they try to do something about it. They can put their own lives on hold just to attend to the needs of others. An empath tries to make everyone better, even characters that are totally undeserving of the help such as narcissists.
Actually, narcissists cannot resist empaths.
A narcissist is terribly damaged. They hide the pain behind the power they wield, the validation they seek, and their larger-than-life personalities. Deep within them lie several years of pain that the world cannot understand.
By appearance, they seem confident, and because of the wounds they carry that never heal, they selfishly swear to inflict the pain they suffered on others.
However, narcissists have suffered years of pain, which is why they need validation all the time. They have to get admiration from other people to feel good about themselves. They have a deep-seated inferiority complex that can only be eased through the abuse of others. Making people feel powerless and worthless makes them feel powerful.
That is what makes empaths so ideal for narcissists.
Empaths have a desire to heal, and narcissists are as broken as anyone can get. So, this union makes a seemingly perfect match.
An empath tries to see the good in others, and to bring it to the surface. However, narcissists are anything but good, and an empath cannot see this. With their lack of compassion, they will mercilessly manipulate the empath into believing that they are creating a better person out of the empath.
The relationship will start out very beautifully as the narcissist’s desire for attention is fulfilled and the empath’s desire is met. But the narcissist, without the empath realizing it, uses the attention to gain more control in the relationship.
Their interactions will consist of attempts by the narcissist to make the empath guilty and insecure so they can give more of themselves. In the end, the narcissist will have full control over the empath, which is the way he wanted things to begin with.
Ultimately, the empath will depend on the narcissist in all ways. But knowing that he is in control, the narcissist will be less available, making the empath depressed, and likely to turn into a narcissist as well.
But that is the last thing a narcissist wants because his desire is to have a puppet that caters to his every need, not someone who puts themselves first.
The relationship will, therefore, become very unstable, and ultimately, it will break down.
For the narcissist, this will not be a big deal, all they have to do is find their next victim.
But for the empath, healing will be necessary, and the process will be long and painful.
Hopefully, the empath will realize the best way to avoid getting hurt by narcissists is to avoid them altogether.
Sure, the world needs as many empaths as it can get, but the goodness these people have to offer should not be wasted on narcissists.
So, the lesson here is that as an empath, you cannot fix everyone. When you meet a narcissist, let them pass you by. They are totally undeserving of any effort to fix them.