Men and women communicate differently and have unique needs. A man has an innate need for respect while a woman’s need is to be loved. Respect in marriage is a necessity, not a luxury.
To manifest respect is to honor or to have wholesome fear. More often than not, when a wedding takes place, the bride vows to deeply respect her husband. In recent times, living up to this vow isn’t easy. This is especially so when a husband doesn’t treat his wife right.
Husbands thrive on respect. They need to feel that we trust them to handle situations, solve problems, and care for the family. They need to know that we trust them and their decisions. The more you accord him honor, the more likely he is to show his love for you.
Note that it isn’t about whether you think you show respect but if your mate feels respected. Let’s look at how you can show respect in words and actions.
Show Respect For Your Husband In Words
Use the following questions for self examination:
Do I speak respectfully to my husband? What does my tone of voice say when I’m making an observation or complaint? Do I criticize him more often than I compliment him? How do I speak to him in public? Does the way I speak to him make him feel honored or put down? Your sincere answers to these questions will help you know what you need to work on.
The book, Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage mentions that one study of couples showed that spouses in happy, stable marriages made five positive remarks for every one negative remark when they were discussing conflict. In contrast, couples headed for divorce offered less than 1 positive remark for every single negative remark. The thoughtless speech will only harm your marriage and won’t show respect for your mate.
What can you do?
Write down a few things you admire about your husband. They can serve as the foundation upon which you build respect.
Give him at least one compliment per day. Make it a habit to tell him what you admire about him.
Learn To Listen Before You Talk
Do not be like the foolish one who replies to a matter before hearing it. Some men take a while to share their feelings. Don’t pressure your husband to talk if he’s like that. Patiently wait for him to open up. It shows you respect how he feels and his personal space.
Your mate can sense your level of respect or disrespect from the way you listen. Listen with your ears and heart. If your husband isn’t articulating his feelings quickly enough, be patient. Ask questions to draw out what’s in his heart gently and respectfully. It will be disrespectful to be rash or harsh.
Resist the urge to respond immediately. Let your husband finish speaking. Make sure you understand what he said, be moved by it, and then, only then, should you respond.
Don’t Be Sarcastic
Some grew up in an environment where screaming, speaking sarcastically, and insulting is the norm. It can be difficult for them to show respect but not impossible. With your husband, learn to bridle your tongue.
Resist the urge to speak with sarcasm. Choose your words carefully. If you dignify and honor your husband, your home will be a resting place for you, not an argument hole.
It helps to ask your mate about what adjustments he’d like you to make so he feels more respected.
Show Respect With Your Actions
The way you treat your husband should convey your respect.
For example, if you’re pressured to make a decision for the family in his absence, what will you do? A respectful wife will wait for her husband before making any decision. When he finds out that despite the pressure, you thought of and waited for him, he’ll feel honored. It will also show those pressuring you that you respect your husband.
How you spend money as a wife also shows your respect and love for your husband. It shows how much you value his efforts.
One couple said that “without respect, you would not have a marriage – or at least not a happy one. All you would be left with is resentment and insecurity”.
Accept Each Other’s Differences
You are a married couple, you are not the same person. As such, opinions and personalities may differ. To fix this, accept each other as you are. Respect what’s different about your mate.
“Different” isn’t necessarily bad or wrong. If your mate has a different opinion about a matter, don’t focus on just what you want. Also, consider your mate’s feelings.
One husband says that he doesn’t always understand or agree with his wife’s opinion on matters. But, he reminds himself that he loves her more than he loves his opinion. He yields sometimes to make her happy.
Differences can enrich your family. It spices things up. What’s the fun in being exactly the same?
Respect truly is key to a happy and lasting marriage. The contentment and security it brings to a marriage are underrated. There are other things you can do as a wife to keep your family happy. Learn how a submissive wife makes a success of her home.
Many of us learned to respect people who are older, have more experience or authority than we do. As such, respect in marriage is quite challenging. Why? Because you and your spouse are more of on an equal footing.
Remember that disrespect just breeds tension in the family. Avoid such tension by practicing what we’ve discussed on how to show respect for your husband.