I'm sure you loved with all your heart. I'm even more certain that your love was obvious not just in words but in your actions every single day.
The little things you got him, that cuff links, that grey tie, that striped socks, the chips he loved so much, how you stood vigil just so you know he got home safe, the calls to know if he had eaten, if his class went well, or how badly work sucked that day.
How you sacrificed your pleasures for his… …..and how all of these were not enough for him. Or better still, how he didn't deserve any of it because his heart wasn't completely towards you.
My dear, you have every reason to be proud of the woman you are because you are incapable of dishing out half-baked emotions. You gave it your all and that is what a real woman in search of true love does. She realizes that the love she gives is what she'll get. It was rather unfortunate that he was incapable of loving you as much as you loved him. And that is his loss, not yours.
I understand that heartbreaks can cause untold pain. It could hurt as much as you loved. But, you are a strong and resilient woman and you will pull through. It sure is hard letting go but not as hard as holding on to a mirage.
You are not a fool for loving without holding back. Such women are admirable. It goes to show that you do not feel as insecure as most people who hold back do. It's not foolishness, except you knew from the start that it would never work and still went ahead. But again, how many of us are such accurate fortune tellers?
What's love without risks? When we chose to love, we know there will be uncertainties; what-ifs, but we also knew that if we dwelled on the what-ifs, we would never be able to enjoy to the full our newly found love. But you, you reveled in the beauty of it all. You bathed under the rays of love for as long as it lasted.
It's admirable how you could listen to your mind over your heart when the time came. You were smart enough to realize that whom you gave so much to and gave up so much for didn't deserve it. All you need is time to heal and once you are back up again and ready to love, you give it your all again. You are a blessing to this world. In a place where people trust less, love less, and care less, your presence is a ray of sunlight in the dark tunnel.
I am certain that you will find someone who will love you as much as you have loved, even better because what goes around comes around. It might take time but as long as the law of Karma stands, you are sure to find a love as pure as yours.