I know how you like to take your whiskey, straight up, on the rocks. You think chasers are for amateurs. You walk right up to the bar and order a shot, or two, maybe even three. You sit there placing your coat on your lap, slightly exposing your new dress. Your makeup is always done to perfection. You came to slay. You sit there wondrously, waiting for your friends to turn up. As you look around, the little voice in your head can't help making comments about the other night owls.
It's 10 pm, you feel invigorated. It is your time to shine. To you, the night has just begun. You adore the feeling of being encircled by your friends late at night. The alcohol is already sinking in. You are intoxicated but not yet drunk.
You observe everyone else in the room, meticulously but covertly. You ensure you pay close attention to them because you are very familiar with the feeling of being sidelined. You feel as if you are always the entrée and never the main course.
I know it's challenging to be heard but not listened to. To be the only girl in your gang that doesn't have an army of men ogling over her. All your girlfriends get free shots, free strawberry daiquiris. Not a single human being has ever offered to get you drunk like that, but it's okay.
I know that you can take care of yourself. You always had to. No one ever willingly offered to love you, and that's okay. You've learned that love hurts, everything I temporary. People are temporary. The truth is, nobody really owes you anything. Neither a compliment nor a text.
Solitude is your new therapist. Independence feels incredible. It makes you feel unique, maybe even different in a special kind of way. You know better now. Constant approval isn't your forte anymore. This new feeling of self-love feels exhilarating. For a moment you actually feel like you can do it all by yourself.
Don't close yourself off
Don't isolate yourself in this newfound imaginary utopia. No man is an island. We are all pre-wired to want love and affection, and that's okay. I know exactly how you feel. I am the queen of being overlooked, the ruler of Introversion land. I know you're always a little bit overwhelming, you're too whiny, you're too much of a nag, and you're too boring. You might be a little bit rough around the edges, but that is what makes you who you are. Embrace it, love, and embrace it with all the bones in your body. You are perfect, just the way you are.
Next time you go out
The next time you go out with your friends, make sure you stand out. Even in all your "awkwardness." Let people see you, the real you. Don't compromise your joy for any other person. Allow people to catch a glimpse of your vibrant soul. You deserve to be known, and you deserve all the love and happiness the world can give.