I wonder if there’s anything more emotionally draining than breaking up with someone? If there’s an experience more alienating or more able to compromise one’s sense of self, I’m open to suggestions. I’ll wait. 

Point being, it’s the periods in ours lives of heartbreak where we most need our close friends. Our nearest and dearest exist for precisely these reasons, to keep us sane when we most need them. 

To usher us into the comforts of who we are and reminding us that we are loved and valued. Outside of a relationship with that person. To reassure us that we have so many other fulfilling and satisfying relationships to turn to, platonic and familial.

Dear Best Friend,

I’ll keep this pretty short and sweet. You know exactly what I needed, when I needed it. You were there for me in the initial first raw stages of weeping, crying, bawling and lamenting existence. 

You took a deep breath and steeled me to this mortal coil. Plied me with ice cream – not the cheap, low calorie stuff. This was a time for self care and lots of it. Nothing to regret or feel guilty for here. These calories are serving a purpose to fill the void. 

Moreover, you sat with me when I needed reassurance. When I was whiny, when I was stroppy, when I wanted to call him. When you said no and I snuck to the bathroom to weep into his voice messages anyway you remained patient and didn’t slap me across the face like I deserved when I snapped at you. 

Bestie, you served as my emotional punching bag for the days when I felt most like a masticated leaf. You kept my house clean, made sure that I ate, listened to me for hours on end as I purged the emotions and memories from my body.

They aren’t gone, but in being expressed, I started to place myself, gain perspective. You didn’t let me spiral too far into the negativity. I allowed myself a necessary day of shouting and angry weeping, but you reminded me that I’m not stupid. I wasn’t blind.

Whatever happens now, there were good times.

The bad memories don’t erase the good emotions that the relationship gave you. It served its purpose, but it’s over now. For better or for worse. 

If you’re honest with yourself, it probably is for the best, but you needed your friend to remind you of that over the weekend. They were always accessible by call or happy to come over.

Eventually they dragged you out of your flat and sweats when you were ready and got you out into civilisation and as usual, you felt a little better each time. Without their nudging, you would never have been ready. 

For that, I owe you. You proved to me that – brace for dramatic sentiments – life was still worth living. That life goes on. That there are loads of people out there that either love me now or are waiting to love me when I’m ready.

Taking time for myself was something that you let me do too.

When I snapped at you and wanted time alone, you listened to me and respected me. You didn’t treat me like a child or patronise me. Even though you probably knew better. 

You knew that I needed to get it out of my system, but not erase everything that went before. I needed those relationships and to make those mistakes in order to not make them again. You proved that not everyone in my life will abandon me, that you would prioritise me and my needs.

That I deserve that. Better. 

You taught me that, Bestie. You got me through this most tough of times and I’ve come out the other side stronger. 

I am so grateful. I probably owe you a few coffees, too.