Published in Jul 2019 / Updated in Aug 2021
Anxiety is difficult to handle, but it does not make a woman unlovable. Yes, it might feel so because as her partner, you can never really find a solution to this problem. But always remember that handling the panic and anxiety is entirely up to her. So, if you have an anxious woman in your life, here’s how you love her.
1. Bring a distraction to her fixation
After spending a while with a girl with anxiety, you will learn to spot the signs that a full-blown attack is about to take place. Fixation is one of the most obvious signs. When you see this happening, you can prevent the oncoming anxiety right on its tracks by distracting her with something like a random date or a night out.
2. Even without understanding our concerns, don’t disagree with them
Even though you do not understand where she is coming from, make her know you completely understand her. She needs to know there is a reason behind her concerns. She needs reassurance that she is not crazy. Doing otherwise will make things that much worse for her.
3. Stop trying to ‘fix’ the anxiety
Anxiety cannot be fixed, accept that. That is hard to handle because the thing you want the most is for your loved one to be in her best possible condition. The problem is that anxiety is not a logical problem, and no logical solution will work. So, it’s pointless to try. The best you can do is to be by your woman’s side as she deals with the anxiety bouts. Your ‘solutions’ might actually make the problem worse.
4. Learn to accept that your efforts might not always bear fruit
You might have gone the whole nine yards with attentive listening, reassurance, some logical thoughts, and so on, but it might not work. However, frustrating it might be to see that your efforts are not bearing any fruit, try not to get upset.
5. Listen Carefully
Passive as it might seem, listening to your woman when she is going through an anxiety attack might be the best solution you can offer. Just hear her out as she goes on about her fears, anxieties, and whatever else that is stressing her to the point of causing an anxiety attack. It will mean a lot to her that you care even though the problem makes no sense.
6. Hold her close when she is vulnerable
If everything you have tried does not work, try holding her. She does not have to say a thing, all she needs is to feel safe and secure. It might not always work, but it will make things a lot better.
7. Speak the truth, but don’t be upset if it’s rejected
After your anxious girl has calmed down, and you have done all the right things under the circumstances, you can try going over the situation more logically. It’s not about telling her how she was wrong but raising actual facts about the situation. Don’t expect that your sensible opinions will be agreed to. Be ready for that.
8. Show consistency and trustworthiness
In all relationships, you should certainly be reliable. With a woman who has anxiety, these important traits are even more important. That means keeping your word and calling or texting when you say you will. In other words, avoid situations that raise questions about your reliability or trustworthiness.