Everyone's a relationship coach in the current modern world, it seems from those who are not at the age yet, or ever been in a relationship, to the ones whose unions have crashed once or multiple times due to their fault or otherwise. Then there are those who's crossed the bridge and tied the knots already, trying to throw lessons at the ones coming behind from their wealth of experience. I am not going to say, and maybe I am not sure of the one I belong in the afore-listed categories of people. However, I thought it a good thing to add my voice to the thread with my little wisdom and knowledge gathered from studies and realistic experiential events. And I have decided to put together this piece on tips that can help to decide if you and your partner can go tie it for life or take different roads.
I singled out these points because on the road to marital bliss, I noticed they had gotten many into a marital ditch. Some of them may sound weird, too simple to be true, or sarcastically broken down. However, that's my way of making my points and I hope you will pardon me. What matters is that you get something useful that helps you avoid a match that seems to be 'made in hell'. As the saying goes, 'love is blind, but marriage is an eyeopener'. Smiles… Alright, back to the main issue. Here are a few tips to help in knowing if you are right for one another or not.
1. Differences In Life Goals And Purpose
She told you she's an ambitious career woman. It's all obvious in the way she conducts her day to day routine. Hardly getting time for romantic talks, always busy working or thinking about one business or another. Life totally devoted to her ambitions and no signs, word, or commitment of slowing down. But you wanted a sort of a full-time housewife, one that meets you at the door every day with a kiss and the three magic words 'I love you'. Ready to hear the gist from work while getting the table ready for dinner. The mum type. One to sacrifice her life ambition (if she has any) for the sake of the marriage. It's is clear here that there is a discrepancy of purpose, and the wise thing to do is to jettison the union. Not going to be so easy especially if special rooms have been carved in both hearts for each other, but it has to be done!.
2. Her Parents Still Dictate To Her
Her parents still hold quite a great sway in her life decisions and you know quite well your ideologies and theirs aren't the same. You can see clearly already that there are a lot of areas you differ. You can sense a clash of ideas between you and her parents in her head. And you know quite well who will win the day in the end. This is a red light to 'kiss' the connection goodbye! And please, the fall side of these can be coming from the guy's side too! Some guys, even though they've come of age, still remain immature in mentality. A sad reality, but true anyway.
3. Flashy And Loves Limelight, But You Are Cool!
She loves the flashy life. Admires and is desperate for the celebrity 'Ping-Pong'. She would be glad if all the media houses and channels are ringing of her. Wants all the best cars. Seeks the nicest of parties. Obviously quite materialistic with a great thirst for fame and popularity. But here you are, a complete opposite, the cool one, just want to have the basic necessities of life and family that satisfies. Enjoy your life quietly. Seeks no chance of your name ringing on radio or television. Even your social media channels look like a corpse. The noisy life isn't your type. Final answer; walk away!
4. Love For Kids
You love kids, are crazy about having them, and would want them rolling around you, but she gives little or no damn about that. Doesn't care if celibacy prevails. Actually, it's her wish it does. To her, kids are distractions from all the fun the world has to offer. She came to enjoy life as much as she can and this she will do to the fullest. No disturbance.
5. Disunity In Religious Views
It's obvious you both can't find a common ground. The tenets of his religion differ quite greatly from yours. It's appearing day by day like the size of the distance between the east and the west. It's also quite clear any effort made at coming to a common ground will never come to fruition. Then there's the fact neither of you is ready to let go of the other. If this is the scenario you've found yourself in, no reason forging ahead with this union then. Time to choose the 'separate' It's time to choose the separate option. Don't think you can patch it up. Your life is worth more than giving it up for a patching that won't last as long as the life itself!
6. Wide Age Gap
Some may not give a thought to this if such a situation arises, but some may actually care. And in a situation where one side of the union raises eyebrows about this, it's over. Personally, I know of a particular relationship that just bit the dust in recent days cause the girl was older than the guy and she wasn't comfortable with it even though the guy was mature. The two, even though painful, agreed to part by mutual consent. No use staying put with a partner whose age keeps a worrying thought nagging through your mind.
7. His Job Type
He works in an environment where he has no way to avoid the opposite sex milling around him. He is back late or always traveling here and there due to the nature of the job. And here you are, overly suspicious and greatly lagging behind in temperament. You picture him cheating on you with this client or that secretary. The job may be a cover-up for staying late due to having an affair. So you are thinking, and the thought is driving you crazy and you picture yourself giving him the lesson of his life to curb those, you plan setting up a lot of rules and lines for him not to cross bla bla bla… But you know it's not going to add up. It will soon come to a level whereby he will have to choose between the job and you. And you know what a very difficult decision this would be for him. Then quite now if you really love him! I know I sound harsh and am sorry, but I am just being realistic.
8. Financial Status
I can't even tell the reason why I put this last, even though it should be among the ones at the top, but then, here it is anyway. Money answereth all things, so the bible verse goes. The current financial status, the plans for its improvement or otherwise in the nearest future is worth giving good consideration. Don't be shocked. I said 'otherwise'. Some people wanna stay at the same level financially, weird, but still true. Some in point number three on this list may be in that category, and if you are lost about what I am talking about here, scroll p and read number three again.