Published in Jun 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
Trust is a fundamental requirement for any relationship to flourish. It is earned and not just given for free and for this reason, it is vital that you look out for signs that tell whether you can trust your partner or not. You never know, maybe he’s just not that into you. We sometimes have that gut feeling that our partner could be cheating on us. A hunch. So how can you know whether to trust that feeling or not? Knowing whether your partner is trustworthy or not might, in the end, save you a lot of pain and heartache. Remember, better to be safe than sorry. So just what are these signs that show that you cannot trust your partner? Take a look.
1. They have cheated on you before
This one here is a HUGE red flag. Cheaters have the sweetest tongues, which would probably explain why you still stuck around after he cheated on you the first time. But remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. It’s tough for a man who cannot control his urges to change his ways. A tiger cannot change his stripes, as they say. If he has cheated on you before, he probably is just not that into you, no matter what he says, and he will definitely do it again somewhere down the line.
2. They always seem distant
Whenever your partner is distant or spacey, it usually means they are lost in thought. This is usually not a good sign. You never know; maybe they are fantasizing about something or someone. They might be preoccupied with someone or something that they cannot share with you. This usually is a strong indicator that they may be untrustworthy. This is a sign that you need to find out exactly what is going on with them before it’s too late. Talk to them. If they could be considering cheating, showing them that you suspect something is going on could end up changing their minds before they perform that dreaded act.
3. They cancel plans at the last moment
He may just be a terrible planner, but if he keeps canceling or rescheduling date night over and over again, then something is definitely wrong. Again, trust your instincts. If this behavior has become such a habit that you have started noticing a pattern, it should tell you something. Rescheduling movie night once or twice because something has come up is fine, but doing so all the time? Definitely a red flag. A man who cancels your plans at the last moment does not respect you or your time. He obviously has more important things to attend to in his life than you, and he is definitely just not that into you.
4. They have never introduced you to their friends
A man who cares about you will want to show you off to his friends. He will go to great lengths to make sure you like his friends, and his friends approve of you. Having close confidants who they tell almost everything to is an important part of many men’s lives. A man who loves you will want to share this part of his life with you. If he has never introduced you to his friends, and you have been together for a while now, it should set off a few alarm bells in your head. And rightly so, because it means either there is something about you he doesn’t think his friends would approve of, there is something about his friends he doesn’t think you will approve of, he doesn’t trust you enough to introduce you to someone of the opposite gender, or he is afraid his friends will reveal something about him he doesn’t want you to know. Either way, HUGE red flag.
5. They are constantly on their phones
A lot of people today spend a lot of their time online. Not everyone who chats a lot is cheating. However, if your partner spends most of his time on social media and spares no time for you, he is probably not that into you, and you cannot trust him.
6. They try really hard to avoid certain people or places
Unless they were severely traumatized as a child, no one has any reason to try with all their power not to go to certain places or meet certain people. Sure, they just might not like going to those places, but partners make sacrifices for people they love. If you like going to the mall, he will take you there once in a while even if he does not like going himself. Unless there are people there he does not want you to meet, or he does not want someone there to see you with him.
7. They have more than one phone
If they have more than one phone, and you only just recently found out about their other phones, you have reason to worry. Hiding such a trivial matter as the existence of another phone is usually a major sign of untrustworthiness. 90% of the time they are probably cheating on you. If they don’t think highly enough of you to share the simple fact that they have another phone, maybe they are just not that into you.
8. They get defensive when you question them
Of course, nagging can be annoying. When you ask someone the same questions over and over again, it can get on their nerves pretty fast. However, if someone gets defensive when you question them on practically anything to do with their lives, their jobs, or even their days, it should be a cause for concern. Only a guilty person would get defensive when you ask them how their trip to the market was. Look out for the signs and trust your instincts!
9. You have been told that they are cheating on you
Depending on who this information is coming from, it is probably a cause for concern when you hear from a third party that he is cheating on you. If your close friend or someone whom you trust and who wants the best for you is the one bringing this to your attention, you should definitely confront him with the facts, and rethink where that whole relationship is going. Is he really worth it?