If you have been dating someone for a while and have feelings for them, but find yourself waiting a long time for them to initiate contact, it can be frustrating. You may not want to appear desperate or too needy by initiating contact too often, but still want to communicate with them. It is possible to change the dynamic and get the other person to text you first, though it may require some effort.
1. Make Yourself Less Available
Some people prefer phone calls or in-person conversations over texting, so they may be hesitant to initiate conversations through text. However, they may be willing to make exceptions for people they have strong feelings for. In this case, the best thing you can do is to be understanding and work on building a strong connection with them. This may encourage them to text you more frequently.
2. Find Out How Much They Like To Text
Some people prefer phone calls or in-person conversations over texting, so they may be hesitant to initiate conversations through text. However, they may be willing to make exceptions for people they have strong feelings for. In this case, the best thing you can do is to be understanding and work on building a strong connection with them. This may encourage them to text you more frequently.
3. Give Them A Reason To Reach Out
It's important to consider why someone might want to text you first beyond simply liking you. Do they enjoy talking to you and engaging in interesting conversations? Do you post interesting content online that they would want to discuss with you? People are more likely to initiate a text conversation if they see that you share similar interests or are doing things that they enjoy. After all, most people enjoy talking about their interests.
4. Make Every Conversation With Them Count
To encourage someone to text you first, it's important to make every interaction memorable and enjoyable. If you make a positive impression on someone, they will be more likely to want to engage in future conversations with you. Make an effort to have engaging and interesting conversations, make them laugh, and ensure that they have a good time when they are with you or chatting with you. If you can create a pleasant experience, they will be more likely to want to text you again in the future.
5. Be Okay With Them Not Texting You
It's important to cultivate a sense of confidence and independence, rather than neediness, when it comes to communication in relationships. Avoid sending multiple texts or long paragraphs in an attempt to get someone to respond. This can make the person feel like communicating with you is a chore or requires a lot of effort. Similarly, it's important to avoid complaining or making them feel guilty for not texting you. Instead, try to create an enjoyable and relaxed dynamic in your conversations.
6. Come Right Out And Ask Why They Never Text You First
Sometimes, people may not realize that they are not initiating conversations as much as you would like. They might simply assume that you will initiate conversations and not feel the need to do so themselves. If you want this to change, it can be helpful to gently bring it to their attention without being accusatory. Let them know that you enjoy texting them and would like to have more back-and-forth conversations. If they care about you and enjoy chatting with you, they will likely make an effort to initiate conversations more frequently. It's important to remember that people may not always be aware of their behavior and that open and honest communication can help address any issues that may arise.
7. Try To End Every Contact On A High Note
To encourage someone to text you first, it's important to keep them interested and engaged in your interactions. Flirtatious and playful behavior can help create a positive and enjoyable dynamic. Additionally, try to end your conversations on a high note, so that the person is left thinking positively about you. This can create a sense of anticipation for future conversations and make them more likely to initiate contact. Lastly, try to take control of the conversation and be the one to get the last word in, so that the responsibility of starting the next conversation falls on them.
8. Go At A Pace They're Comfortable With
It's important to pace yourself and not use all of your best moves or put too much effort into the beginning stages of a relationship. Instead, try to match the energy and effort that the other person is putting in. If they are taking things slow, it's best to follow their lead and not try to push for more. Trust that they will text you when they are ready and try to relax and be patient in the meantime.
9. Ask Them To Text You Later
If the conversation has lulled and you want to rekindle it, you can try asking the other person to text you when they have time so that you can ask them a question. This will pique their curiosity and they may be more likely to initiate contact to find out what you want to ask them. Make sure to have an actual question ready for this moment, so that the conversation has a clear purpose and direction.
