If you find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation and want to make sure that it goes smoothly, it can be helpful to follow a few unspoken rules. These might include:
Never Choose A Friend You Couldn't Stand To Lose
Remember the saying, "Don't eat where you poop"? It is a good idea to avoid having a friends-with-benefits arrangement with someone who you have a strong emotional connection with. This is because there is a risk of hurting or losing the friendship once the arrangement ends. To avoid awkwardness and drama, it may be best to choose someone who you don't have a deep emotional connection with but still enjoy spending time with. This can help to ensure that the arrangement remains casual and without complications.
Practice Safe Sex
It is important to always practice safe sex in a friends-with-benefits arrangement. This means using condoms consistently to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies. Even if you are on birth control, using condoms can provide an extra layer of protection. It is also important to remember that your friends with benefits are free to hook up with other people, so it is important to take steps to protect yourself. Don't take unnecessary risks with your sexual health - always use condoms.
Set Clear Expectations
It is essential to be upfront about the nature of your friends-with-benefits relationship from the start. Make sure that both parties understand that the arrangement is purely casual and that there are no expectations of it developing into a romantic relationship. This can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure that both people are on the same page. Even if you think that your friend is aware of the unspoken rules of a friends-with-benefits arrangement, it is still important to communicate openly and honestly to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.
Skip The Cuddling
In a friends-with-benefits arrangement, it is important to avoid activities that are typically associated with romantic relationships. This can include cuddling, spending the night after a hook-up, or engaging in pillow talk. These types of behaviors can lead to the development of feelings, which is not the goal of a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Instead, it is best to limit physical intimacy to the act of sex and then go your separate ways afterward. This can help to ensure that the relationship remains purely casual.
No Casual Texting
Your communication with each other should be focused on making plans for future meet-ups, rather than checking in on each other's daily lives. Avoid sending good morning or good night messages as well.
Never Introduce Your FWB To People You Love
Your friends and family don't need to know about your casual relationship with Dan. If you happen to see him in public when you are with your loved ones, a simple introduction like "This is Chuck!" is sufficient. If possible, try to keep your relationship discreet. If Dan wants to introduce you to his family and friends, it may be time to end the relationship.
No Public Outings
You should only meet up to engage in intimacy, and not for activities such as coffee, brunch, movies, or dinner dates. Keep your meetings limited to hooking up.
Avoid Getting To Know Each Other
In a casual relationship, it is not a must to know each other's personal preferences or interests outside of the physical aspect of the relationship. The focus is on fulfilling each other's sexual needs and desires, and this is all that needs to be shared between the two people involved.
Never Allow Your Emotions To Take Over
It's natural to develop feelings for someone you are close to, including a friend with benefits. However, it's important to remember that a friends-with-benefits relationship is not meant to be a romantic one and it can be painful if one person develops stronger feelings than the other. If you find yourself thinking about your friend with benefits and missing them frequently, it may be a sign that you are developing romantic feelings for them. In this case, it may be best to have a conversation with them about your feelings and reassess the nature of your relationship. It's important, to be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and to prioritize your emotional well-being.