Published in Sep 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
We are in a day in age where casual hookups are becoming a thing of the past. Everyone is moving past the "let's hang out and see whatever happens" to wanting a more serious relationship. I mean seriously. I have witnessed so many finally slow down and get into serious relationships. So how do you know if a hook-up is not for you?
Where are you?
If you catch yourself wondering where your casual partner is throughout the day, or keep checking in... it may not be for you. This is a sign that you are thinking about that person more often than you should if this is supposed to be a no-strings-attached type of deal. You are not supposed to care about what this person is doing with their time or where they are during your time apart.
Jealousy is a hard thing to deal with. If you are dealing with these feelings concerning your "partner" then maybe this is not for you. The whole point of a casual hookup is to let loose, have fun, and move on about your business. Feeling some type of way after your hookup, wondering if he has been seeing others, is jealousy. You are starting to wonder more. Heck, maybe you even ask him if he has seen anyone else. MOVE ON girlfriend.
Do you like this outfit?
Okay, this one can go either way but I figured I would include it. A lot of times if you start developing feelings for someone you go way out of your way to make sure they like everything. Including your outfit. You will overthink the clothes situation and probably try on ten different outfits before deciding. Chill out. If your thinking about this all the time wanting to impress him then this might not be for you.
Am I on your mind, like you're on mine?
Dealing with something that is supposed to be casual means that once you hook up, typically you go do your own thing. If you are starting to think about him all the time maybe this is not for you. You might even catch yourself wondering if he is thinking about you as much as you are of him. This can be tricky especially if you both are on different pages when it comes to this stuff.
Are you online?
Social media can be the absolute worst thing in the world if you ask me. If you are in a casual hook-up situation and you find yourself stalking his profiles then this is not for you. You unlock your phone, open Facebook, and automatically go to his page and scroll through to see what he has been up to or who he has been talking to.
Help, I feel attached
Obviously spending time with someone is going to make certain feelings happen. But if this is supposed to be casual and you realize you are catching feelings, this might not be for you. Maybe you think about him when you wake up or go to bed. You catch yourself wanting to text them throughout the day to see how they are and how their day has been. Sounds to me like you need something with more commitment.
Do you fall for people easily?
Then run! This is not for you. Most people who do these hookups do not want to get feelings involved. So if you happen to fall pretty quickly, I would avoid this altogether.
If you only want to see one guy
A lot of people who hookup have no issue seeing more than one person at a time. If you are feeling like you do not want to deal with all that then maybe you need something more committed. More than one person will often result in chaos. Always stay true to yourself.
You need more than just a hookup to feel satisfied
Okay so the intimate parts are great, but maybe you need something a bit more to really satisfy you. Like comforting words afterwords. Or maybe even hanging out together after and having a great conversation. Not just hook up and leave. If that is you then this might not be for you.
There is a lot to consider but I encourage you to really think about it before you actually go through with it. It could really change you. Always stick to who you really are.