8 Telltale Signs Your New Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
Published in Jun 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
Often, when you find yourself in a new relationship, you’re so infatuated that the relationship can move too fast. Though you may have the best intentions of taking things slowly, you can get so caught up in the moment that you lose sight of the fact that the relationship is still new. While the excitement of a budding romance can be intense, jumping straight into a conversation about marriage or long-term commitment may derail your romance and cause problems before the relationship has even started.
While love is great, a relationship that moves too quickly can easily crash and burn, because you haven’t taken the time to get to know each other well enough.
Although moving quickly in a new relationship does not mean that the relationship will fail, taking your time to get to know each other is a much better way to set yourselves up for a long and fulfilling relationship. True love takes time, and there’s no set timeline for developing a new relationship. Enjoy the beginning stages of your romance, because time flies, and you want to enjoy every moment.
1. Feeling too comfortable
If you feel instantly connected to the person and drop everything to share your affection, you may be moving too fast in your new relationship. It’s natural to want to share the details of your life with a new partner, but if you find yourself telling your potential partner everything about you, you may be moving too quickly. Instead of telling your new partner about every detail of your life, slowly weave your experiences into the conversation without revealing too much personal information. It takes time to nurture trust, and finding comfort in every aspect of your relationship doesn’t happen overnight.
While you may have confidence in your new partner and feel a deep connection, getting too comfortable too quickly can scare a new partner. The best way to gain someone’s trust is to slowly share pieces of yourself with the other person, without rushing into details. People typically put their best face forward at the beginning of a relationship but get comfortable after a while. It’s important to see a partner at his or her best and worst, so you understand what makes your partner tick and how they react to real-life situations.
2. You’re spending too much time together
While the excitement of a new relationship makes you want to be with the other person all the time, being together all the time can be a detriment, especially when you are both still trying to get to know each other. If you’re not together constantly, you may want to talk to your partner frequently.
However, be careful. Integrating yourself into every facet of a new partner’s life can make the other person feel smothered, and they may perhaps feel that you’re taking them away from activities they enjoy on their own.
3. You’re settling in too quickly
It’s easy to put a new partner up on a pedestal because you admire them and want to be with them. However, doing so can be dangerous, because you haven’t seen the person in different life situations. It may be tempting to think your new partner is the ideal person, even though you don’t know much about them just yet. Doing so sets you up for heartbreak.
4. You’re not fighting, and You’re making big decisions
While fighting may seem counterintuitive to the success of a new relationship, fights are a healthy part of any relationship and are necessary for emotional intimacy in a long-term relationship. Making big decisions together too quickly is also another sign that you may be moving too fast. Realize that you both have different opinions, and discuss your opinions before making any big decisions together.
5. You’re having sex but not discussing it
Because sex is part of a healthy relationship, it is also important to discuss how you feel about sex and what your values are. If you are in a relationship for the long haul, you will have to deal with difficult conversations and the potential outcomes of a sexual relationship with your partner.
It’s important to be of the same mindset as your partner when it comes to sex. Know your expectations, and discuss with your partner any concerns you may have. For any relationship to be successful, it’s important for both partners to be open and honest.
6. Moving in together without meeting your partners family
When you find someone who shares your values and hopes for the future, it can be tempting to talk about long-term arrangements, such as living together. While some couples decide to cohabitate to ensure they’re compatible for marriage, it is not a good idea to move in with a new partner shortly after you’ve met them. Doing this can speed up the natural progression of a new relationship and make you miss out on some of the ‘firsts’ you experience in a new and healthy relationship.
If you find yourself making huge decisions before meeting your partner’s family, you may want to slow down. If your partner neglects the feelings of his or her family members, he or she may not be receptive to your feelings in the future.
7. You start neglecting friends
Friends are an important part of your life because they know who you are and what makes you tick. Relationships come and go, but your friends will always be there to welcome you with open arms.
Sometimes people get so caught up in the throes of a new relationship that they begin to neglect their friends and stop spending time with them. Be sure to maintain a connection with your friends, and set aside time that is only for them. If you neglect your friends, and your relationship fails, you may not have your friends to be your support system.
8. You’ve lost your sense of self
When you’re in a new relationship, it can be easy to lose your sense of self. It’s easy to get so caught up in the relationship that you forget to engage in activities you once enjoyed on your own.
Set aside time to do things you enjoy on your own and don’t depend on your partner alone for happiness. Relationships are just a portion of your life, and it’s important to set aside time for the things that makes you happy. Relying too heavily on your partner for happiness can be draining for both of you.
When it comes down to it, relationships are hard work. They take time to nurture and maintain, and it is important to be true to yourself, while also putting your best foot forward. If things don’t work out, there will always be someone else. And you never know, that next person might be great.