While a small amount of jealousy can add a little spark to a relationship, it's important to keep it under control. If you were in a long-term relationship that didn't work out, it's understandable for your new partner to be curious about your past. However, if your current boyfriend is fixated on learning more about your ex, it could be a sign of a deeper issue.
1. He's Not Very Self-Confident, And That's Okay
Talking about exes shouldn't be a threat to a relationship. If your partner keeps mentioning your ex, it could be a sign of insecurity. Maybe he feels he can't measure up to them, especially if your ex was attractive. But emotional attraction plays a big role in building a connection, and physical appearance can only go so far. If your ex lacked personality, it's clear why they're an ex.
2. Your Ex May Have Seemed More Put-Together
Perhaps your ex had a high-paying corporate job, while your current partner is currently in-between jobs or living paycheck-to-paycheck due to the pandemic. While money can be important, it's not the only factor in a relationship, and it may be a sensitive topic for your partner if they're struggling financially. In this case, it's important to remind your partner that hard work and dedication are valuable traits, regardless of income level. Plus, being financially responsible and knowing how to budget effectively can be just as attractive as having a large paycheck.
3. He Doesn't Know If He Can Compare… Down There
If you're into guys, it makes sense that he might not think he'll perform as well in bed as your ex. By now, guys should know that size doesn't always matter, but they'll still wonder whether or not they're inadequate. Not too many couples talk about their past sex lives, but if the topic ever comes up, his insecurity might get the best of him. Women may also have similar issues. If they know that a past ex had a large chest, they may feel like their A-cups aren't enough.
4. He Might See Old Pictures On Instagram
Keeping photos of your ex on social media can sometimes make your current partner feel uncomfortable or insecure. While it's understandable to want to hold onto memories, it's important to consider how it might affect your current relationship.
5. If The Relationship Was Serious, There's A Lot To Compare
Serious relationships demand more time, dedication, and emotion than hookups. If you were almost married to an ex, your current partner may struggle to understand. Even if it didn't work out, your partner may worry that your ex is "the one that got away." This is why it's crucial not to rush into new relationships. If there were real feelings of love, your new partner may feel like they're only a placeholder until you make amends with your ex, or worse, a rebound.
6. It's Possible You Dated Someone Your Boyfriend Really Admires
If your partner admires someone you previously dated, it can be a tricky situation to handle. Maybe you went out with a popular musician who your current partner is a big fan of, or you dated the most popular person in high school. Your partner's interest in your past relationship can be difficult to navigate, as they may want to hear stories that could potentially cause problems in your current relationship.
7. He Liked You For A Really Long Time
It can take a while for some people to make a connection, and if your partner has been crushing on you for years, they may have a good idea of your dating history. However, this can have some negative consequences. For instance, if your partner and your ex are in the same friend group, it can make things complicated. Additionally, if your partner dislikes your exes simply because they dated you before, it could lead to possessiveness and jealousy.
8. It's A Way To Gain Emotional Control
If your partner is obsessed with your ex, it could lead to a worst-case scenario where they try to control your life. By constantly talking your ex down and leading conversations about how the ex is no good, they may be trying to erase any good memories from a past relationship and replace them with negative feelings. This demonstrates unhealthy boundaries and it may be time to end the relationship.