Published in May 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
I know that I keep attracting the wrong kind of men. The narcissists and weirdos seem drawn to me, and I have even laughed it off with my friends. But is it really a laughing matter? Why does everyone who comes into my life seem to have a bad agenda? Why am I always nursing a heartbreak?
This was a puzzle to me, and I was curious as to why the wrong people kept finding their way into my life. I sat down and did some soul searching, and I believe I have the answers now. I am here to share them with you because if there is one thing I am certain about, it's that I am not alone in this.
And so, here we go – the 8 reasons why toxic men are drawn to you.
1. You Are Overly Nice
People say you are a nice person, and you also agree. You are very accommodating, and you try to make other people happy. But toxic people are drawn to this trait because they see that you can put up with their crap.
2. Forgiving And Forgetting Comes Easily To You
When someone learns that you can forgive and forget almost instantaneously, they can easily take advantage of that. Toxic people will always do wrongs, and when you constantly forgive and forget, they will also constantly do bad things to you.
3. You're An Empath
As an empath, another person's predicament quickly becomes like your own, and so you lend a hand in whatever way possible. But the bad thing is that narcissists and other toxic people are drawn to this personality as they need someone whose goodness they can exploit for their own twisted reasons.
4. You Are Too Generous
Don't get me wrong, I am not about to bash generosity – it is a beautiful virtue. But it could also be your Achilles heel. In a relationship, some give and take is a must, but when you are always doing the giving, things are bound to end badly, with you being totally drained and your heart is broken. Toxic men will take advantage of this trait to the maximum, and you have to make sure it doesn't happen.
5. You Have A Problem Setting Clear Boundaries
People should know what boundaries you have in the relationship. If you let people define how to relate to you, then you can expect that they will walk all over you, and that will get you into a lot of trouble. So, set boundaries, and they will not take advantage.
6. You Are Blind To Their Flaws
You like seeing the good in others, so much so that you constantly overlook their flaws. Therefore, you don't see how toxic a person is as you only focus to see the good, even if that is just a very small part of who they are.
7. You Think You Can Fix Them
It's true, some are broken. But you cannot be a hero to everyone and try to fix them. Not everything can be fixed. Take narcissists, for instance, these people are completely lost in their own toxic worlds, and their only desire is to draw others in, not to get out.
8. You Don't Let Go When They Lose Interest
Normally, when someone is not interested, you should just let them go. But some people react in the exact opposite way. So instead of letting go, you make an even greater effort to keep the person in your life, and that makes them feel justified to mistreat you.
Without a doubt, these 8 things are great qualities to have, so there is nothing wrong with you and you don't really need to change this about yourself. What you need to learn is to recognize the toxic people who exploit these qualities at your expense. There are people deserving of your kindness, consideration, understanding, forgiveness, and so forth – just not toxic men.