We all want to be with someone who really wants to be with us, and is not just settling for us because the dream partner they had in mind did not show up. Unfortunately, you might end up with someone who is just settling for you; which obviously sucks.
But how can you know that you ended up with someone who simply settled for you, and doesn’t really love you? Here are some clues to unveiling this uncomfortable truth.
1. You feel unappreciated and undervalued.
If your partner does not make you feel like you are a priority, then they might have settled for you. To them, you might be more of a convenience than the partner of their dreams.
2. You are in charge of all the plans in the relationship.
If someone settled for you, you will often feel like it is your responsibility to plan for everything in your relationship. If your partner does not bother with such plans, it could be because they are not in the relationship they wish they had.
3. Only sex seems to connect you two.
While a good relationship involves a healthy sex life, if that is the only thing going for you, then your partner might have settled. If there is no other connection between you, then that is a huge red flag.
4. It feels like a partnership, not a relationship.
When you are with someone who settled, you will feel like you have a partnership, whereby certain physical things hold you together; and not a deep personal connection that would exist in the absence of the physical needs keeping you together.
5. You are afraid to express your opinions.
If you are in a relationship that makes you feel afraid to express your thoughts, especially when you know they will not make your partner happy, then you might not be in a loving relationship. Similarly, if what you say never gets any attention from your partner, then your relationship might not be what you thought it was. A loving partner will care about all the things that concern you.
6. Your partner is your critic.
If someone settles for you, they will often try to change you into the person they dreamed they would end up with. This can make them very critical of you in an effort to turn you into the person they wish you were.
7. They lack interest in many aspects of your life.
Someone who is in love with you wants to know as much about you as possible, even about things that would typically not interest them. On the other hand, someone who is just settling will not have any interest in finding out too much about you and what you are really like.
Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes you might be deceived because people get into relationships with divergent agendas. Above are some ways to know that your partner did not choose you, but rather settled for you when the relationship they imagined did not happen.