It's common to hear about how to deal with dating a male narcissist, but it's important to recognize that women can also exhibit narcissistic traits. In fact, it may be just as common for women to have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). However, these traits may manifest differently in women, making them harder to identify. Here are 7 signs of a female narcissist, an explanation of the disorder, and tips on how to cope.
What Is A Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious mental health condition that impacts not only the person diagnosed with it, but also those around them. According to the Mayo Clinic, individuals with NPD have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, require constant attention and admiration, struggle with relationships, and lack empathy for others. Despite these traits, it's important to remember that people with NPD often have a vulnerable and fragile self-esteem beneath their confident exterior.
People with NPD often have unstable and tumultuous relationships due to their insecurities and tendency to engage in fights and other forms of conflict. They may also become aggressive and vengeful towards others when they don't get their way, making them difficult to be around. These behaviors can make it hard for individuals with NPD to maintain healthy relationships with others.
Although talk therapy can be effective in helping people with NPD manage their symptoms, many individuals are resistant to seeking treatment because they do not believe they have a problem. This can make it difficult for those with NPD to get the help they need to improve their condition.
How Narcissism Differs In Women
According to mindbodygreen, narcissistic traits are similar in men and women. However, cultural expectations for how women should behave can lead to differences in the expression of these traits. For example, both male and female narcissists may become angry, but men may be more likely to resort to physical aggression while women may prefer to seek revenge or find other ways to punish others.
It's important to note that these patterns of behavior are not universal and can vary based on the individual and their environment. The specific ways in which narcissistic traits are expressed can vary widely.
7 Signs Of A Female Narcissist
1. She's obsessed with her appearance and is extremely materialistic
A female narcissist places a great emphasis on superficial matters and may go to great lengths to achieve what she perceives as physical perfection. This may involve spending a lot of time on her appearance and demanding designer clothes, jewelry, and accessories, even if she cannot afford them.
2. She's the queen of one-upmanship and competitiveness
A female narcissist may struggle to feel happy for others' achievements and may try to outdo them or diminish their accomplishments. She may view life as a competition and prioritize her own success above all else. This can make it difficult for her to celebrate the successes of others.
3. She ignores people's boundaries and does what she wants
A female narcissist may disregard the boundaries of others, especially if doing so will allow her to get what she wants or if she feels that she has been wronged in some way. She may not be particularly remorseful when confronted about her lack of respect for others' boundaries. This behavior can be harmful and can cause issues in relationships.
4. She refuses to take accountability for her actions
A female narcissist may be unwilling to take responsibility for her actions and may refuse to apologize, even when it is warranted. She may try to shift blame onto others and may deny any wrongdoing, even when evidence suggests otherwise. This can be frustrating for those around her and can damage relationships.
More Traits To Look Out For
1. She has a serious sense of schadenfreude
"Schadenfreude" is a German term that refers to the enjoyment of others' misfortunes. A female narcissist may take pleasure in the failures or humiliations of others and may even root for their downfall. This behavior can be hurtful and can damage relationships.
2. She actively sabotages other people's relationships
A female narcissist may enjoy causing drama and conflict in the relationships of others and may use gossip or other underhanded tactics to create unrest. She may take pleasure in causing chaos and may even enjoy watching the consequences of her actions unfold. This behavior can be destructive and can harm relationships.
3. She punishes people for perceived slights
A female narcissist may react angrily and harshly to perceived slights or disagreements, even if the other person's actions were unintentional or minor. She may have a strong sense of entitlement and expect others to comply with her wishes. When these expectations are not met, she may struggle to cope. This behavior can be difficult to deal with and can strain relationships.
4. She always plays the victim
A female narcissist may lack empathy but may try to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her in order to get what she wants. She may be skilled at manipulating situations to her advantage and may use this ability to get others to comply with her wishes. This behavior can be manipulative and can damage relationships.
How To Deal
1. Keep your distance and don't engage
Dealing with someone with NPD can be challenging and may not always be possible to avoid. If you have to interact with this person regularly, try to disengage as much as possible. Avoid reacting to their comments and avoid initiating conversations or building a relationship with them. It may be helpful to try to distance yourself from the person as much as possible.
2. Don't compromise on your standards or boundaries
It's important to maintain strong boundaries when interacting with a female narcissist, even if she tries to push them. Do not compromise your boundaries or allow them to be violated in order to please the narcissist or avoid conflict. It's important to clearly communicate your boundaries and hold firm to them.
3. Encourage her to seek help for problematic behaviors
Although it may be difficult to change the behavior of a female narcissist, it can be helpful to try to communicate the negative impact of her actions on others, including yourself. While she may not immediately take your words to heart, it's possible that they will stay with her and influence her behavior at some point in the future. It's worth making the effort to try to explain the harm her toxic behavior causes.
4. If all else fails, cut off all contact
If it is feasible, cutting a female narcissist out of your life may be the best option for your own well-being. It's not your responsibility to fix the narcissist or deal with their harmful behavior. Removing yourself from the situation and severing ties with the individual may bring you greater happiness and peace of mind.