People’s attitudes and behaviors towards us are shaped by our actions. Little habits that we might not even take notice of can shape people’s views of us and influence how they see us as people. To understand what those habits are, and how they influence those around us, here are seven habits you have that impact people’s treatment of you;
1. You Are Proactive
The Cambridge Dictionary defines proactive as ‘taking action by causing change and not only reacting to change when it happens.’ Rather than letting their situations overwhelm them, proactive people focus more on what they can influence. Thus, they operate on a level of thinking different from most of us. Steven Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Influential People named proactivity as the number one habit of influential people.
People see proactive people as positive thinkers and tend to turn to them for stability in tough times. Proactive people are able to maintain a positive attitude during tough times because they refuse to let themselves be negatively influenced by the world around them. They choose instead to take the reins of their situation.
If this sounds like you, then chances are you are a proactive person.
2. You Are A Good Listener
‘Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.’ Steven R. Covey
Listening well to others is a great way to influence people’s attitudes and behaviors towards you. Studies show that people who listen well get more useful information and increase people’s sense of trust in them. This is because they listen with the intent to understand those around them. Being a good listener encompasses hearing what the other person has to say and taking note of their body language. In his book, Steven Covey states that body language accounts for over 60 percent of conversations, with talking taking up only 10 percent.
Steven Covey highlights this habit as being the most important principle in the formation of personal and interpersonal relationships. He describes it as seeking ‘first to understand, then to be understood.’ Covey encourages people to develop their listening skills by ‘listeningemphatically for both feeling and meaning.’
3. You Are Pragmatic
Practical thinking is something that has always been valued. Many of the great inventors over the years were pragmatic thinkers. Pragmatic people are focused and are able to analyze the long term effect of different actions. They are realists and are known for their expedient outlook on life.
Pragmatic people are often mistaken for being negative minded because of their straightforward thinking. While this may repel those who don’t know them, it has the opposite effect on their circle of influence who turn to them to give objective and rational takes on certain situations. They are strong shoulders to turn to when in need of stability and are capable of possessing strong, positive attitudes. They simply chose to take a more realistic approach to life.
If this describes you, you are most likely a pragmatic individual who prides yourself on knowledge, skill, and practical thinking.
4. You Praise People Constantly
It is true that people blossom when they are appreciated. People like being told what they are doing well and praised for it. If you are someone who is fond of praising others, people will prefer to meet you when they feel they have done something exemplary, or if they feel discouraged. This is because they look to you to provide the right type of encouragement they need at the time.
The ability to praise others is a great character strength and an indicator of a positive mental attitude. So, if you’re fond of praising people, keep it up.
5. You Procrastinate A lot
Sadly, it is not only our good habits that influence the way people treat us. Our bad habits too affect attitudes and behaviors that are directed towards us. Procrastination can be a great detriment to personal and interpersonal relationships. While procrastination is not an immediately noticeable habit, it influences personal and interpersonal relationships. A study of 566 college students showed that procrastination is usually linked with people with bad personalities.
Procrastinators are seen as unreliable and unable to complete simple tasks in time. If you’re fond of procrastinating, it’s probably why people are not eager to approach you when they need work done.
6. You Lead By Example
People tend to follow those who ‘practice what they preach.’ For example, if you’re the head of a rehabilitation center and your patients catch you doing drugs, to them this will be the same as giving them permission to do drugs. And they won’t take you seriously as a leader anymore. A good leader lives by example. This extends not only to those who work under you but to your friends.
When trying to overcome bad aspects of their lives, people focus on those who they see as leading exemplary lives as role models.
7. You Are Negative Minded
People who are negatively minded only see the negative side of things, even in situations where the positives outweigh the negatives. They often dull the excitement of those around them. As a result, people may stop trusting them or going to them for advice.
If you are largely negative minded, it is important to learn to look at the more positive side of things. Because sometimes, all people need is a bit of positivity.
What You Need To Know
To positively influence people, Steven Covey recommends an inside-out approach. The individual is to first develop his/herself before looking towards others. His seven effective habits include; be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think to win/win, seek first to understand, then to be understood, synergize, and lastly, sharpen the saw. Work on these seven things, and you’ll be impacting those around you with ease.