Let's be real: dating is hard. Regardless of your age, dating can be quite an intense and daunting experience.
Women find dates much easier than men, and it's tempting to believe that they're in control of their dating life. However, there's a pretty sharp learning curve on dating-especially for women.
The good news is that we can avoid many missteps in the dating process with your potential partner to subsequently blossom into a romantic relationship. In that regard, below are common mistakes that are damaging your dating life:
1. You are not getting out more
If you want to master a particular skill, you need to spend hours practicing. Similarly, if you want a great dating life, you need to put in some effort. However, there's this fantasy society has painted that 'love and relationships' is an area that requires minimal to no effort in achieving results. Well, that's a lie.
Maybe you have a friend that met someone and just hit it off right away. And they're now happily married or perhaps in a romantic relationship. However, this is by mere chance.
In reality, Mr. Right won't be the 3rd or even 10th guy you run into, but he'll probably be the 20th. A guy you meet at a party of your friend's boyfriend's cousin. You get the idea.
Get out more; be open to social events and hangouts. Don't sit around hoping 'the one' will stumble into your living room and sweep you off your feet. It's real-life; you're not in a Disney movie.
2. Blame Game
Disempowering yourself by playing the victim and blaming circumstances in every area of life and dating is no exception.
Modern dating is different compared to traditional dating. Nowadays, there's more accessibility, exiting a relationship is now easier than fixing it, and cheating is more rapid now than ever.
Similarly, the dynamics have also changed, and people own their sexualities now. However, regardless of all these circumstances, people are still finding excellent meaningful relationships.
Instead of playing the victim and blaming modern dating, learn how to 'beat' it. Subsequently, train your dating life so as to succeed in the ever-changing world.
3. Men should initiate Interaction
Firstly, you must think that men should always initiate interactions if you say things like:
"Guys don't approach me."
"Why don't the guys I like approach me?"
Similarly, you're seriously underestimating how much men dread rejection.
Ever wondered why men try to make a pass on you in a bar or club than say-at a grocery store? It's because, without alcohol, most men would rather fight a grizzly bear than risk public embarrassment from a woman (you).
Your options are limited to the men that approach you. However, you can initiate interactions by giving signals. By giving him the green light, he'll feel like the odds are in his favor, and he'll automatically have the confidence to walk over to you. No doubt!
4. You're dating guys who don't know what they want
"He's not really sure".
"He's confused about whether he wants a relationship."
If you find yourself saying these, let me key in some important information for you: he's not confused!
A recent research study was conducted on men in different relationship stages. The results found that men, without a doubt, know what they want within the first 3 to 6 months of dating. Therefore, you know for a fact that he's probably lying about his 'confusion.'
It's likely he wants a relationship- just not with you. Either way, you should have the willingness to cut your losses and move on.
Importantly, communicate your needs, and if he's not willing to step up, leave. You shouldn't put up with crappy behavior.
5. You are too available
Men love a challenge. Therefore, indulge in your passions, and most importantly, don't cancel plans every time a guy sends an invitation.
It's normal to want to be always available when you meet a guy. I get it, he's hot, ticks all the boxes, makes your palms sweat, and you want to impress him. However, this strategy only achieves the opposite.
Instead, stay busy. The more engaged you are, the more the guy will want to be a part of your life. And guess what? He'll work harder to pursue you.
Otherwise, if you're always waiting for him by the phone, you'll come off as clingy. And it's not attractive.
Besides, we all know that friend who goes MIA when they're dating someone new. Don't be that person. Don't abandon your social circle.
6. Believing 'love at first sight'
Statements like: "You'll just know" or " Trust the feeling" are pure lies. Consequently, they're why most women wind up with awful dates and wrong partners.
Moreover, you put too much trust in "the feeling" without considering compatibility.
However, 'love at first sight' has proven right to some couples. Later, they advise singles, "When it's him, you'll just know."
Regrettably, this well-meaning misguided idea strips the practical sense of looking for something more profound than attraction. That is, finding out whether you have a connection with the guy or not.
In reality, most women have had 'the feeling' and got severely hurt. Instead, approach the dating scene with the perspective that you'll meet plenty of men who share your values, melt your heart, make you laugh, and one worthy of your commitment.
Though dating is seemingly simple to others, it's a nightmare to some of us. Moreover, we do a lot of things that we don't think are wrong. Some are harmless. However, some will eat away your emotional stamina and cost you time and overall fulfillment. On the flip side, you can avoid these grave mistakes and inevitably secure a quality romantic relationship.