Breakups are tough, and the emotions that go with them don’t make things any easier.
Assume you have just broken up with the love of your life (sorry). But you now realize the best option is getting back together.
What should you do?
Let’s look at some important questions you should ask yourself.
1. What Went Wrong?
What had to go so wrong that the only option was to split up? Think this through and find an honest answer.
Understand the genesis of your breakup. That’s the demon you will have to face for the relationship to work once you get back together.
2. Did You Change?
As much as we hate to admit it, breakups sometimes happen because of something we did. If your love for the bubbly had gotten out of hand, and you still drink like a fish, then don’t bother trying to make up.
You will end up right where you started. Sure, you can trick your partner into believing you have changed, but how long will that last?
Let your transformation be genuine, or your making up won’t be.
3. Has Your Partner Changed?
The only person you can change is yourself, not your partner. If you know that something they did was the reason behind your split, make sure they have changed before getting back together.
Your ex might not change, although you still want to get back together. In that case, ask yourself if you can live with that.
Keep in mind that having the intention to make up can make you underestimate the need for your partner to change. So, think things through if at all you want your partner back without them making the changes you might have desired.
4. Is It Worth Getting Back Together?
Let’s not kid ourselves. You broke up because at that point in time, the relationship was not worth it for whatever reason. So, as you consider getting back together, consider if the effort is worth it.
Are you willing to put in the effort required to make the relationship work? Be honest. Will you be committed to the relationship or will you just be half-assing it as you wait for something better to come along?
If you don’t see any benefit to you and your ex getting back together, then it’s not worth making up.
5. Who’s In Charge?
So, who will call the shots if you get back together? You or your ex? If you said your ex, then you are wrong.
And if you think you will be in charge, then you are also wrong. A relationship is a partnership, not a sole proprietorship. You both work on it.
Yes, you want your ex back. But is that the best thing for you? You can answer this question by first answering the above questions. For you to get back with your ex and avoid another breakup, something has to change.