Anxiety, as hard as it is, is not unmanageable. Loving a person who's always on edge, continually battling anxiety, requires some adjustments, but which relationship doesn't?
An anxious person knows when they're overreacting, but they can't help themselves
Well, duh! A person with anxiety has a disorder, but it doesn't make them less sane than the rest of the world's population. So, they know when their "crazy" kicks in. It can be a panic attack, derealization, OCD, but they don't need you to tell them they are "different."
You can comfort them by talking about something soothing or ask them what it is that they need at that moment. But, get off your high horse because the anxious mind will turn your reaction into an even bigger disaster. And you don't want that for someone you love.
Yes, they are more tired than you, but it's not a competition
Of course, anxious people are tired and exhausted! Take your everyday activities and multiply by 100. There you go, that's what an anxious person lives each day, so give them a break.
Anxiety is all around us, we're talking about it openly, and that's great. But let's not pretend there's a magic pill. People are living, making careers, families while struggling with constant worry. They deserve medals. And they need afternoon naps. If you love an anxious person, remember that they are always doing more than their best. And if that's not enough, you don't deserve them!
Of course, they need their alone time for therapy and self-care
You don't have to meditate every day, go to pilates or yoga classes, or visit your therapist, write a journal… An anxious person has to do all that and more, to calm an overthinking mind. So, naturally, you'll give them their alone time and be understandable.
Stop making anxious people feel worse for not being able to go out every night. They need "me" time and their rest. Be grateful you have such a great person in your life, such a warrior, and stop using their fights to feel superior.
Please, stop the pity party when your anxious friend is taking their medication
Most of the anxious minds go to therapy, at least in the western world. And a lot of those people take prescription drugs. If a person already told you and had no issue taking their meds in front of you, don't look at them with pity.
They are taking care of themselves. It's plain simple: you go to a doctor when you feel unwell, and you need your meds. People with diabetes take insulin to survive. People who deal with anxiety disorders take their pills to gain control over their survival. Especially since all that worry often leads to depression.
You should accept anxiety as a small part of your loved one
It's a condition, and it's not forever. But there's so much more to an anxious person that just fears and worries.
Most people with these conditions are creative, witty, intelligent, and you should challenge them to more in touch with those parts of themselves. They are capable of loving you unconditionally, of nurturing you, because they know pain.
From time to time, it might feel as if anxiety is the third party in your relationship. Even if it is, so what? The more you accept it, the more comfortable you make it for a person whose self-esteem is already low. But, let's get something straight: you're not doing them a favor by loving them. And never, ever even dare to think that. They choose you, and you chose them.
