These days it seems there is no escaping these people. You may have been brought up by a toxic parent or made a huge error with your choice of partner, or a wrong friend choice. Or be stuck with a narcissist work colleague. Most of us at some point have had to deal with the fallout of escaping the clutches of mental abuse.
If any of your reading this have been lucky enough to not have encountered a narcissist, I hope it always remains that way for you. If you have been in this situation, or are still going through this, below is a list of 5 things that you can take as a given, you will never get from a narcissist.
1. Sincere Compassion
Oh, they will put on the show if there’s an audience. Showing kindness, asking how you are, pretend to care. The reality is, it’s all a front, they’re not interested, for the simple reason, it’s about you, not them. They’ve no interest in anything that doesn’t revolve around them. Be wary of their unexpected kindness or them being nice to you because, guaranteed it’s because there’s something in it for them, so be prepared to pay for the kindness.
2. Won’t Listen To You
Again, they’ll go through the motions and pretend to listen, the reality is, they’re not interested. They genuinely believe they are more important and superior to others; they don’t care for your troubles. There is very little compassion, empathy, or remorse from a narcissist. They’re never wrong; it’s all your fault. They look at you as someone they can manipulate to get them what they want.
3. Nothing Comes For Free
The narcissist loves to play the manipulation game. There is always gameplay with them. If a narcissist has ever done you a favor, you can be certain they will be back for a return favor. You might not hear anything about it straight away but be warned they will jump you out of nowhere and expect you to return the favor. Expect a huge backlash if you’re not willing to return the favor.
Nothing is ever a narcissist’s fault; they never hold themselves accountable. Even when faced with facts, they still manage to twist it back around on you. If you confront them with something they’ve done to upset you, they turn it around that it’s you that’s too sensitive or overreacting. They will talk you around in circles and add total confusion into the mix, all to deflect everything away from them. Firmly placing all the blame at your feet. A narcissist plays the victim or innocent party; uses any move they can, to avoid being the guilty one.
Just like you will be waiting to hear the words “I’m sorry,” “thank you” is something you won’t hear either. It makes no difference how much time, energy, and attention you give them. They expect that from you, in their eyes, it’s what you should be doing anyway, they’re the most important. The only other things they are noticing is all the faults and flaws. You will never be able to do enough for them, no matter how you try.