Sure, apologizing is a form of good manners, but over apologizing shows submissiveness and lack of faith in your judgment. Here are five great reasons to stop apologizing and save "I'm sorry" for when it's needed.
1. People lose respect for you
Just like always complimenting people, when you're always apologizing, people don't see you as an honest person.
You think it makes you look humble and caring, but the reality is different. You're sending a message that you have low self-esteem and confidence.
These treats are often seen as signs of weak character, and it's easy to see why people lose their respect.
2. It's annoying
Apologizing all the time is exhausting, annoying, and tiring.
Often we say we're sorry when we have no idea what to say. Instead of showing our compassion, we apologize even if we aren't responsible for the troubling situation.
It's also irritating when someone insists on apologizing for ditching plans or consciously hurting a person's emotions. You're losing credibility and showing the world that you cannot face your actions. Instead, you hide behind meaningless words.
3. It can lower your self-esteem
Learning when to say you're sorry and why takes practice. And while it's natural to feel regret over something you said or did, if you're always apologizing, you're lowering your self-esteem.
Scientists found that participants who refused to show remorse displayed signs of higher self-esteem. Additionally, they had increased feelings of power and control and integrity.
Again, it's not hard to understand why you start believing in it when you're repeating a phrase. And the more times you say you're sorry, the more likely you'll end up feeling like you're always doing something wrong.
4. The apology loses its value
Apologizing for things that aren't under your control really makes matters worse. Similarly, if you are regularly apologizing but not taking any action to prevent the same mistake, your "sorry" is meaningless.
Do you know the story about a boy who cried wolf? When you're over apologizing, you're that boy, and no one will take your "sorry" sincerely, even when it's genuinely needed.
5. There are alternatives to expressing yourself
Saying sorry is an admission of guilt. It's also an automatic response, which makes it so hard to control.
Learn other ways to express what you're feeling. It's much more compelling when someone offers to listen or states that they understand you. Or at least that they want to understand whatever it is you're going through, without overusing the same old apologies.
You can express your emotions and show a person that you care for them without apologizing. It is crucial because one "sorry" doesn't mean much. Sympathy and understanding are more powerful, and often, you don't need words at all to express these warm, kind emotions.
Start noticing how many times per day you apologize and why. You'll soon discover that you're overusing one of the most powerful phrases. Only say you are sorry when you truly own that person a heartwarming apology. Make your "I'm sorry" count!