Nowadays, people are more likely to pursue casual encounters and flings. However, marriage is still a box that many feel pressured to tick. It is not uncommon for married men to develop feelings for someone else when the going gets tough. Here are five clues to help you figure out if a married man is crushing on you. 

1. Oversharing 

By discussing personal details of his marriage or revealing aspects of his past, he is trying to create intimacy with you. Likewise, he will display a big interest in your love life. He is framing your connection as two friends who discuss their relationships. Complaining about his marriage is signalling to you that he wants to leave. Investigating your personal life will reveal if there’s room for him in it. 

2. Mr Charming

It might be obvious that he makes more of an effort around you. He will tell stories for the sole purpose of making you laugh. In group scenarios, he is seeking your reactions. Perhaps you’ve noticed that he dresses smarter than normal, smells nice, or worries about his hair parting. He might even take his wedding ring off around you. He wants you to find him attractive. He wants you to think of him as a viable option. And it’s obvious. 

3. Possessiveness

Subconsciously, he could behave possessively toward you. This manifests as jealously. Everyone else is competing for your time and affections. He is threatened by other men and downplays the merits of any guy you’re interested in. This might come across as friendly cautions and anxiety for your well-being. However, despite being married, he views you as his. Jealousy is about control. Stay clear of such immature behaviour.

4. Body Language 

Maybe he is not even aware that he is falling for you. His body language will reveal everything. Physical contact is a dead giveaway that he perceives you as more than a friend. In group settings, he will somehow end up standing or sitting next to you. Maybe he always expects a hug upon meeting. His hands brush against yours, he leans in close to you when talking, and his eye contact game is strong. Nervous behaviours like fiddling with his clothes or blushing could also indicate a crush. 

5. Any Excuse

A married man who just happens to find any excuse to spend time with you is in deep water. He will initiate contact. Due to his relationship with his wife, he can’t just ask you out. Therefore, he must be smart if he wants to get to know you better. He will offer to help you move house, to take a look at your car, to clear your gutters. He wants to be close to you. It’s probably not a coincidence that he suddenly really likes your favourite coffee place. 

It’s hard to know what to do if you find yourself in this uncomfortable situation. Clearly, the guy shouldn’t be married. Whether you return the feelings or not, it is important to establish strong boundaries. Crushes fade eventually. A man who is this disrespectful to his wife isn’t worth any of your time.