4 Reasons Why A Toxic Marriage Is Worse For Children Than Divorce
Published in Apr 2019 / Updated in Aug 2021
Regardless of the efforts and commitments to maintain a healthy marriage, and the positive intentions to have a happily ever after, the relationship can reach a harmful and toxic state. A status that can cause emotional and mental damage to children.
Divorce is becoming more common than ever. According to a recent study, 40-50 percent of American marriages are ending up in divorce.
But parents are more concerned about how divorce can cause adverse influences on their children. Thus, for the kid’s sake, they opt to endure the toxicity in marriage and stay together.
Kids will then be forced to be part of their parents’ emotional tension. They’ll suffer silently hoping everything will be fine in the end. They carry the burden of indifference, loveless marriage, unhappiness, and lack of affection between their parents.
Even though divorce can be difficult, raising kids in an abusive, toxic home environment can cause more damage to them. Here’s how children suffer through unhappy marriages.
1. Incessant and constant tension
Kids have a pure nature that makes them internalize and feel everything that goes on between their parents. If parents are in constant conflicts with each other, children will distress over these negative behaviors, and they’ll suffer tension. Instead of them feeling cared for and comforted.
Such continuous tension can trigger adverse emotional, social, and physical conditions in kids. For instance, it can lead to depression, chronic fatigue, and other psychological disorders.
2. A disturbed and unstable version of self
The constant conflict between parents will root itself inside the kid’s minds. It’ll lower their self-confidence and self-esteem, leaving them with no peace.
They’ll feel the need for love but will reject closeness. Instead of fulfilling and engaging in intellectual and creative works, they’ll sabotage their efforts.
3. Mood issues
Toxic marriages will bring up kids who’re likely to suffer severe mood troubles such as persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia. And if these problems aren’t treated early, it can lead to substance abuse and personality disorders.
Unhappy and loveless marriages not only teach children to abandon optimism and hope but also force them to mature quickly. Because of this, they’ll lose out on the most important and beautiful phase of their childhood.
4. Fear of intimacy
The trauma of an unhealthy marriage will bring up emotionally-bruised kids. These children will be scared of closeness with people. Intimacy will also trigger the painful experiences they went through while growing up. Therefore, they will avoid getting close or attached to people to keep themselves from being hurt.
Although Divorce is Better for Kids Than Maintaining an Unhealthy and Toxic Marriage, There’re Some Helpful Suggestions You Might Consider.
Couple therapy allows parents to resolve conflicts without exposing their kids to unnecessary trauma. The goals of this counseling are to find a mutual understanding and to improve parent’s intimacy through heartful and sincere communication.
But you should be cautious when choosing a couple’s therapy counselor. A wrong therapist can cause an undesired or even worse outcome.
Unresolved childhood problems can cause a broken marriage. Leading one to blame it on the other partner, ensure you first check your inner self with the help of a professional therapist.
Sharing your marriage problem with other parents undergoing a similar challenge can help you realize you aren’t suffering alone. Listening to other’s difficulties and how they overcome them can bring you hope and relief.