Is it the excitement that comes from meeting that girl who sparks your interest? Or the tickly sweet late night conversations? Or the fun from discovering bits by bits of her? Or the jealousy that hits sort of differently when you are not official yet? True, meeting someone new is interesting and getting to know them, even more exciting.

When you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, you must have some serious confidential talk about key issues like self, goals, money, intimacy, and having a family. Below are 40 questions you should ask her.

Questions about Self

What are your priorities?
What do you love most about yourself?
Being right or being kind, what’s your take?
What do you think about helping others?
Can you let go of anger just for the sake of peace?
Do you believe in God?
Would you say you are a religious person?
Is marriage a priority for you?
When will you like to get married?
Are your parents together?

Questions about Goals

What are your short term and long term goals?
Have you achieved some?
How did you feel about the goals you could not achieve?
How you intend to achieve the ones left?
What are your interest?

Questions about Money

What do you think about budgeting?
Do you often stay within your budget? If not, how often do you exceed it and by how much?
What do you think of joint accounts?
Do you think a wife has to inform her husband before making significant expenses? And what does “significant” mean to you?
How happy does a credit alert make you?
What do you think of impulse buying?

Questions about Intimacy

Are you a virgin?
How much physical intimacy do you think a relationship needs?
Should we set boundaries to physical intimacy before marriage?
What is your preference, physical or emotional intimacy?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
Have you has multiple sexual partners over time?
What’s your take on casual sex?

Questions about Raising a Family

Will you like to have children?
Do you think being financially capable of caring for kids is enough?
How many kids will you like to have? What is one quality you possess that you will like to pass on to your child?
Will you like to raise your child the way you were raised? If not, what will you change?
Will you like to be a stay-home mom?

The thing is, you can’t ask all these questions at a stretch or it would seem like an interrogation. You don’t want to put her on the spot. In the middle of your normal conversations or recreational activities, you can chip them in.

Try to determine if her actions speak as loud as her voice. Don’t be so gullible as to put faith in every word. Don’t fall victim to pretense. Also note that discovering where she stands on key issues should be done at the start not when you are too emotionally invested.

Remember to share your views on similar matters with her. After all, dating and courtship are media to get to know a person better and to determine if you’re willing to and can spend the rest of your life with this one person.