It's one of the more difficult aspects of maintaining a balanced, healthy relationship, this issue of respect. Particularly in the modern era when there's so much information that we have access to and as a result, we have to deal with so many emotions and experiences that our ancestors simply didn't have to go through. In short, we are way too unprepared for this life, and yet we are the most qualified humans to attempt it.
In many ways though, we're still working through the kinks of this emotional lark. Primarily, this is evident in our relationships, when the partners are working the same number of hours in a week, both commuting, and both lacking the energy to take on the 'gender roles at home' discourse.
As a result, this leads to a strange sort of equated inequality within the relationship – it's simultaneously balanced yet lacking in respect.
Here are 3 reasons that can help you determine if your partner has lost respect for you, despite seemingly being in a healthy relationship.
1 – They come home and expect you to do the dishes, wash the clothes and keep the house clean
First things first, quick question, are you his mother? If not, maybe take a look at the balance of chores here. It's one thing to plan a special Valentine's meal for your special person every now and then or clean the bedroom as a special gesture on their birthday.
But if that's all you contribute to the runnings of the household, you are taking your partner for granted. The sheer number of work hours and unpaid labor that the smooth running of the household takes is inconceivable.
Bearing that responsibility alone means – on no uncertain terms – that your partner is ignorant or taking advantage of you. I honestly don't know which is worse, but either way, they don't respect you.
2 – If they are careless with their words, things and possessions, they will be careless with their relationships too
This is a big sign of a lack of respect for the basic aspects of life. If your partner just throws their coat on the floor, fails to keep their life and room tidy, or ignores keeping in touch with their friends, it's a clear sign.
They won't put in the effort to maintain things in their life. Particularly the nice things. They just take you for granted and you will never be respected by these people. No matter what you do, so just leave.
They don't realise how much they need you, but it's not your job to spoon-feed them, nor to teach them how to respect other people. Or to be a good human being.
This just speaks to their disrespectful nature. If they're offhand with their comments, or rude to the people in your life, that's a big no-no.
3 – They are judgmental
This is the real kicker because this overly critical attitude is extremely baseless given how inadequate their grasp over their own life is. They can't fold their own bedsheets, but sure, 'you're a messy drunk, Sarah'.
It's fine, they're just not worth your time. If the people closest to you aren't supporting you or propping you up when you need them, what purpose are they serving?
If they don't spark joy, let them go. Also, if they don't respect you now, they never will. If they expect to be listened to, but never listen – is there any clearer sign?
They expect you to always be there to bear their burdens but they have no intention to bear yours. In every aspect, it's a one-way street. It's about time that road closed, you know.
It's easy to get used to being taken for granted in a relationship, but if your partner has so clearly lost respect for you, I wouldn't hold your breath for it coming back.
You deserve better, and if you leave this relationship, that's the first step.