When you first start to date things can seem to go very well. You may think that your man is just popular, confident, or has that winner mentality. But then, as time goes on, and your relationship begins to progress, you begin to see a shift in his priority. Now that he has won you over, you start to see his true side.
Sometimes it's quite easy to spot a narcissistic man, but other times you need to look a little harder for the signs. Here are 25 signs to help you find them.
1. The Focus Is On Him and Him Alone
When dating a narcissist, you may find yourself catering to him more than yourself or anyone else. You can't make any plans without running it by him. You have to make sure everything is perfect for him so he'll still like you, and find you pretty.
2. He Loves Attention
Usually during a dinner or social gathering he is always the one telling the jokes, telling the stories, putting up a show or façade to please his friends to make himself feel like "the man." He loves it when people compliment him saying that he is so awesome, or great.
3. Playing The Victim
Maybe it's something tragic that has happened to him, and you'll often hear him telling the sad tale over and over to get people to feel sorry for him, making him feel loved, or getting him sympathy for being the victim.
At a certain point in your relationship, you may reveal some unfortunate or impacting things from your past relationships, or just your life in general. In certain situations he may bring these things up to dangle over your head, opening up fresh wounds to get you to do what he wants. He can make you seem ungrateful, or like the bad guy, even to yourself.
5. Hero Mentality
Narcissistic men love to be needed, it's so pleasing to them to see you struggling just so they can help and brag about it later. And when you want to do something on your own, he tends to get an attitude, twisting it to make you feel as if you may not need him. Which makes you chase him and pamper him until he is happy again.
6. He Knows No Boundaries
He tends to feel extremely possessive and that he has an entitlement to everything, including you. He doesn't like the word "no", and can get very angry, very quickly if he hears the word or the implication of it.
He lies about the simplest things, exaggerates, and blows them unnecessarily out of proportion to get his way. Then looks shocked when he gets caught in a lie, and will not admit the deed.
8. He Shows No Emotion and Lacks Empathy
When things go wrong for you, a boyfriend typically does things to help you feel better and usually tries to cheer you up. A narcissist will usually be unsympathetic and will make you feel as if you're being dramatic and that whatever is happening in your life, is not as important as his wants or needs.
9. He Gets Mean
Typically when trying to woo you he is sweet and charming, but as soon as he knows the two of you have a relationship, the mask comes off revealing his true identity. He becomes very aggressive and very careless when it comes to you.
10. He Demeans You
At first it can be little jokes here and there, and then it develops into something like bullying. Nitpicking at everything you do, everything you wear, your weight, your looks, and it seems to never end. It goes on to the point where you ask his opinion for everything, trying to make sure you're good enough for him, slowly losing yourself and who you really are.
11. He Can Put On A Show When Needed
Even though he lacks emotion and empathy for you that doesn't mean he lacks any for himself. If he finds himself in a position that he will lose something he needs to keep him happy, he will pull the biggest display of emotion ever seen to keep you. Don't be fooled, in the blink of an eye he will go straight back to his old ways.
12. Loses Interest Rather Quickly
You may find yourself bending over backward for just some of his attention, because he may have other women in his arsenal, doing just as much as you. Narcissistic men love attention, especially coming from different women because it makes them feel like kings. Having a woman is just another ego boost.
13. He Has Had Many Relationships
Sure, things happen, you meet new people and move on. But for him he has had multiple relationships in a very short amount of time. Be careful of this. Narcissistic men tend to discard women very easily, leaving your life just as fast as they came into it.
14. He Isolates You From Your Loved Ones
He removes your friends and family who try and help you, he wants you to have no means of escape from him, controlling everything that you do. Or maybe you find your friends and family warning you of his deceptive ways, and you lash out at them yourself, all the while defending him, driving a wedge between you and your loved ones.
15. He Makes You Dependent On Him
He also may be set financially and doesn't want you to work so he can "take care of you". But that's just another form of dependence, making you ask for money just so he can have the power to say yes or no.
16. He Has An Inability To Truly Open Up
Your man may tell you bits and pieces of his life to keep you interested and asking for more, but he lacks the ability to really open up and tell you everything. Constantly keeping you guessing who he truly is, and what he has been through, and if any of it is actually real at all.
17. He Doesn't Stay At One Place Long
Whether it's with relationships, jobs, or schools he doesn't stay long. Perhaps you should wonder as to why so many different things about his life are constantly changing. It could be because the people who were involved with him saw his true colors.
18. Never Takes Responsibility
You could argue for days, and he would never even think for a second to apologize. He always avoids saying "I'm sorry."
He never actually defines your relationship, he feels as though he is too good to be tied down. Therefore he is reaping the benefits of a relationship such as intimacy and attention but he is never fully committing.
He can go from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds, and he can lose his temper rather quickly over little things.
Some narcissists have a certain image that they like to uphold and upkeep, and when something in their perfect world is misplaced they snap.
22. Draws Emotions From You
Narcissistic men will try to draw emotions from you, whether it's anger, sadness, happiness, etc. It's like T.V to them and they will do the smallest things to change the channel.
Even after all the things that they have done during your relationship, they can still find a way to sweep you off of your feet with their charm as if it was the first time. It makes you forget about all the dirt they've done prolonging your relationship with them.
They can get very jealous and competitive when it comes to you. They don't want to see you happy or with someone else so they'll sabotage any opportunity that might look promising for you.
25. When You Finally Leave
When you finally decide to leave, and they realize that the old tricks won't work anymore, they will snap and you will see it all unfold.
Being in a relationship with a narcissistic person can be stressful and exhausting. If you see these signs in your relationship leave as soon as possible