After a 24-year-old woman underwent a sterilization procedure, she followed it up with an ironic sterilization photoshoot. The photoshoot started a heated debate on social media.
Abby Ramsay got popular on TikTok after sharing a video compilation of photos usually taken during a traditional gender reveal or pregnancy announcement.
The video has had over 3.8 million views since it was uploaded on February 2. She can be seen approaching a box written "Congratulations" on the side.
Abby looked quite excited as she lifted the lid off the box. Inside the box was paperwork for sterilization surgery.
Many Doctors Tried To Talk Her Off Her Decision To Get Sterilization
In the video, Abby revealed that she decided to be child-free since she was at least 16. When she was 19, she started looking for ways to get permanent sterilization.
When she approached her first OBGYN, she was told to get therapy. The OBGYN made it clear she would not discuss the sterilization issue with her.
Ironically, at the time, she was already going through therapy.
Another expert she consulted said the problem was her hormones, after which she was given birth control pills. Abby explained that birth control pills made her seriously ill.
Yet another expert warned her that she should not get a surgery she did not need. This was even though Abby tried to explain that her family had a history of ovarian cancer, which sterilization surgery would help solve.
She Finally Found A Doctor Willing To Respect Her Wishes
Abby had many meetings with doctors, but she almost always left frustrated and somewhat traumatized. The experts treated her like a child and did not take her concerns seriously.
On many occasions, she was advised she was too young to make such decisions. At the same time, she was told to have a baby, even though that was still a permanent decision.
Her fortune changed in December when she met a doctor who was finally willing to take her seriously. The doctor also found out why she had been in pain for years.
Finally, the sterilization surgery was scheduled for February 4th. She was pretty excited about the news, and she felt relieved that her dream was finally coming true.
In the video, Abby insisted that she understood her body and knew what was suitable for her. She desired that doctors would recognize that and try to address her needs.
She ended the video by saying that the world needed more such doctors before telling her fans, "Wish me luck in my surgery."
Abby Got Two Surgeries
Eventually, Abby underwent a couple of surgeries that included bilateral salpingectomy. During the procedure, the doctors got rid of her fallopian tubes.
The doctors also did an endometrial ablation, a procedure in which a layer of the endometrium, the tissue lining the uterus, is removed.
She wanted these surgeries to ensure that the chances of her getting pregnant were eliminated. The endometrial ablation was important because it would end the disruptions long and heavy periods bring into her life.
The operations were not cheap, and they would have cost her $116,000. Fortunately, she only had to pay $1,000 out of pocket due to her insurance.
Doctors Made Her Feel Judged And Frustrated
Abby also talked about why some doctors wouldn't agree to operate. Many of them did not agree because she suffered the risk of regretting her decision in the future.
Others had an issue with her young age.
One of the doctors said she did not agree with doing "unnecessary surgery" and said she was not okay with plastic surgery either.
Another doctor suggested that there was something wrong with her because she did not want kids and told her to get therapy so that she could be talked into wanting to have kids one day.
She revealed that, at times, she would go home crying after these consultancy sessions, and there were times she would feel numb and empty. The entire ordeal was quite frustrating for her.
She did not like that her desires and goals were so easily dismissed, and all for the sake of a baby that did not even exist. Generally, she felt that a hypothetical person had more say in her future than she did.
Acceptance Felt Like A Breath Of Fresh Air
When Abby finally found a doctor who understood her dreams and was willing to do as she asked, she shed tears of joy. She was ecstatic when the doctor listened to her before telling her what options she had and why they might be best for her.
When she met the doctor, she was desperate to have someone listen to her. All she wanted was someone who could accept that she knew herself better than anyone else.
In the end, a different doctor had to operate on her because the doctor she talked to had to get surgery herself. Luckily, even the coworker who operated on her understood her and appreciated knowing what she wanted.
The acceptance was like a "breath of fresh air."
"I Don't Want Kids" Should Be Reason Enough
The ultimate relief for Abby was not having to try so hard to explain herself and the reason she was promoting a sterilization campaign. In the end, she had this to say:
"While I have many reasons for not wanting to get pregnant and wanting to be child-free - from genetics to fears and medical concerns - at the end of the day, 'I don't want to have kids' is reason enough and should be respected."