Today, our issue will be how to stop thinking about someone you still like and miss when it would certainly be healthier if you focused your attention on other things. Maybe this person was toxic, and yet you let them into your life and developed feelings for them.
As you know, just because someone does not deserve a place in your life, it does not mean your heart agrees with you.
That is why we sometimes need a little effort and time to get over people who are no longer in our lives, and here's how to do it.
How To Stop Thinking About Someone
1. Don't Pretend Not To Miss Them, It Won't Get The Person Out Of Your Mind
You can pretend that you don't miss the person, but that will not help you in any way. Although the goal here is to stop thinking about someone, pretense is not the solution.
The only thing you can control is how these feelings affect you, not whether they exist. For instance, you can resist the temptation to call them up when you miss them.
2. Think Of Ways They Weren't Perfect
One of the reasons you miss someone is because you selectively think of things you liked about them.
But nobody is perfect and that means you can focus on their negative traits. That will make you feel a little glad the person is not in your life anymore.
3. Try To Be Busy To Keep The Person Out Of Your Mind
An idle mind will make you obsess over the person more. By keeping busy, the person will have less space in your thoughts and it will be easier to get over them.
4. Get Rid Of The Reminders As A Trick On How To Stop Thinking About Someone
When there are reminders of the person all around you, it will be much harder to get over them.
Such reminders include pictures on your phone or walls or even pieces of clothing in your closet. You can box that stuff up and keep it away if you are not ready to throw it out yet and take it out when you have moved on.
5. Forgive Them To Get Them Out Of Your Mind
To get over someone, you sometimes have to let go of all the negative sentiments you have against them. Yes, you were hurt pretty badly.
But you should forgive them and let go of any ill feelings you might have towards them. You can even send them a message telling them you have forgiven them.
The idea is to get closure so you can move on with your life.
6. Turning To Drugs Is A No-no As You Seek How To Stop Thinking About Someone
Alcohol and other drugs might seem like the easiest way to cover the pain and thoughts you have about this person. But that will only be a temporary solution that will leave you with a permanent substance abuse problem.
While alcohol might make you happier for a while, the memories you were trying to suppress will come flooding back as soon as the alcohol wears off.
7. Avoid The Blame Game
You can go over what happened a thousand times and find many ways to blame you or the person. That is very unhealthy and will make moving on that much harder.
It does not matter if it's you or the other person you are blaming. You will still end up making the process of moving on with your life much harder. Instead, focus on moving on and letting bygones be bygones.
8. Don't Try To Understand The Person Who Hurt You
You might be very tempted to decode what the other person is like, thinking it will help you solve the issues that tear you apart. But that never works.
If it was meant to be, it would have worked out.
Even if you understand the person, you can never change them. So, it's pretty pointless to obsess over what makes them tick and how that knowledge would have led to a different outcome.
We sometimes don't even understand ourselves. So, don't expect that you will ever fully understand someone else.
9. Find Out What You Really Want Out Of Life
We all have a certain purpose to serve in this life, and you will have an easier time moving on if you discover that purpose.
Focusing on something you truly like will help you stop obsessing over this person. Besides, such a distraction will give you a better perspective on what's good for you and what's not.
10. Hanging Out With Friends Is A Good Move On How To Avoid Thinking About Someone
When you spend time around people who make you happy and infuse your life with positivity, you will have an easier time taking your mind off someone who no longer deserves a place in your life.
These friends will certainly make sure you feel better once they understand how bad you feel after this person left.
11. Be Positive To Get The Person Out Of Your Mind
When you think about someone you would rather not think about, then you are having negative thoughts. And usually, negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts until you have a toxic thought pattern.
You can break this vicious cycle by focusing your thoughts on something more positive. And like negative thoughts, positive thoughts will attract more positive thoughts.
12. Avoid Contacting Them
You might feel so tempted to get in touch with the person when you miss them too much, such as by frequenting places they go to.
That might feel satisfying for a while, but it will make it almost impossible to keep the person out of your mind and move on with your life.
13. Focus On The Positive
As they say, every cloud has a silver lining. So, even though a terrible thing has happened and you clearly understand that you need to move on, it's important to focus on the bright side.
For instance, you will see that maybe it was for the best things to end as early as they did before you got too involved with each other.
14. Don't Give In To Depression
When someone you felt was so important to you leaves, you might suffer from bouts of low self-esteem and might even suffer from depression.
But you should not let yourself slip into this unhealthy state. You can watch your favorite shows, go out with friends, and enjoy your hobbies to keep your spirits up.
15. Control Your Anger
Usually, when things don't go our way, we get angry. But anger usually masks other emotions you are feeling, which is why you should not let it control you.
However angry you get, the pain you feel will still not go away. Don't let anger ruin your chance of dealing with the pain you are suffering on the inside.
Without the anger getting in the way, you will be in a better position to understand what is truly hurting you so you can deal with it.
16. Getting Closure Is Important When Trying To Get Someone Out Of Your Mind
If you think you can stop thinking about someone by ignoring them, then you will be disappointed. For you to get over your feelings over this person, you have to embrace the reality of what happened, whether you liked it or not.
Only after you deal with the sad reality that resulted in the current scenario will you have the freedom to move on with your life.
17. Avoid the Temptation To Stalk Them
This includes online stalking. It's easy to see what your exes and crushes are doing today using social media.
But if you do that, then moving on will be an uphill battle for you.
18. Focus On The Future To Keep The Person Out Of Your Mind
Everyone has a future, even after the most devastating breakups. So, learn to look forward to what could be instead of obsessing over the past.
It might take a little effort, but you will move on very easily and quickly once you do. The future is what truly matters, and if this person is no longer in it, they are not worth that much energy and focus.
19. Think About Someone Else
One of the most effective ways to get over someone is to find someone else to think about. You can go out on a date with someone you like, and that will help you get over your past flame pretty fast.
20. Embrace The Pain
At the end of the day, if what you had with the person was precious to you and it has ended, you need time to grieve. Even if the person made your life hell, you should take time to get over your feelings for them.
That will hurt, but it's a small price to pay if the reward is full healing. Bottling up the pain will mean never getting over them or moving on with your life.
Sometimes, it's better being alone to being with someone who hurts you.
Nobody wants to be stuck on someone who is no longer part of their lives, especially when the person brought them unimaginable pain and regrets. But it happens, and if you were wondering how to stop thinking about someone like this, here are some tips to help you along.