18 Signs He's Playing You & You're Letting Him

Some men know exactly what to say and do to make you fall for them, even if they only see you as one of many conquests. If you like him, be aware of any signs that he's trying to deceive you into thinking you're the only one he's interested in. Don't ignore these signs, as he may be playing you. Remember, you deserve better.

1. He Finds Every Excuse To Not Commit To You

"I want to be sure we're right for each other." "I prefer to take things slow." "I think you're amazing and I don't want to ruin our chances by rushing into anything." These are all understandable at the start of a relationship. However, if you're still getting excuses months later, it's time to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. He may never be ready to commit to you and abandon his single lifestyle. If you continue to accept his excuses, he has no incentive to change.

2. He Hasn't Deleted His Dating Apps

Even if you haven't had the "What are we?" conversation, most people delete their dating apps once they're confident they've found someone special. If he hasn't, it's not because he keeps forgetting. He's still searching and whether he's seeking an ego boost or hooking up with others, don't let him deceive you into thinking he's interested in a serious relationship with you.

3. He Doesn't Bring You Around His Friends

Meeting close friends and family is a significant step, so it's understandable if he wants to wait until the relationship is more serious before introducing you. However, avoiding introducing you to his social group becomes suspicious after a few months. At this point, he either doesn't see a long-term future with you or he's concerned about what his friends might think about the other woman he's been seeing.

4. He's Dismissive Of Your Role In His Life

Just because he introduces you to his social group doesn't mean he's not playing you. Pay attention to how he speaks to and about you. Does he introduce you as his "friend"? If one of his friends asks about your relationship, does he say you're just "hooking up"? If so, this shows what he thinks of you and it's unlikely to change.

5. He Has Flirty Exchanges With Other Women On Social Media

Not everyone uses social media, so it's not a big deal if he has no traces of you on his page. However, it is a problem if you see him flirting with other women online. Some men try to downplay this behavior as "just online" or "a compliment," but don't let him manipulate you into accepting it if it makes you uncomfortable. He's playing you and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

6. He Makes Plans That He Never Fulfills

Actions speak louder than words. It's normal to have to cancel plans occasionally, but if this guy does it all the time, there's a problem. At best, he's unreliable. At worst, he's prioritizing someone else over you. Don't allow yourself to be treated as a backup plan and don't waste your time waiting for someone who won't make time for you.

7. You Never Hang Out At His Place

Sometimes people have terrible roommates, live in a sketchy neighborhood, or have inconvenient housing issues (such as a broken air conditioning unit). However, it becomes suspicious if he always insists on hanging out at your place, especially if you've never seen where he lives. This may indicate that he has something to hide (like a deal breaker or even cockroaches) or that he's afraid you'll discover evidence of another woman.

8. He Backpedals Every Time He Starts To Seem More Invested

This is a major red flag that he's playing you. If the guy you're seeing is inconsistent when it comes to commitment, be wary. Sometimes, when a man realizes you're onto his tricks, he'll shower you with affection and promises in order to keep you around. Then, once he has you where he wants you, he'll pull back, either by asking you to slow down or making excuses to avoid spending time with you. It's all a game to him and you're just a pawn.

9. He Makes A Point To Emphasize That He's Single

Believe him when he says you're not his girlfriend. Even if you do everything a committed couple does, even if he spends most nights at your place, and even if he has a cute nickname for you, you're only deluding yourself if you expect exclusivity when he talks about "if we ever become a couple." He's just trying to avoid looking like the bad guy when he inevitably sees other people. Do yourself a favor and accept the reality of the situation.

10. He Limits Romance To The Bedroom

It's normal to not be into public displays of affection. However, it's unusual to only be affectionate when you're intimate. Someone who can't be romantic with you outside of sexual situations doesn't view you as a serious romantic partner, no matter what he says. Don't let him manipulate you into thinking otherwise.

11. He Only Contacts You When He Wants To "hang Out"

If you only hear from him when he wants to meet up for a drink or to have you come over, and he never asks about your day or weekend, it's clear that his only reason for contacting you is for physical intimacy. While it's normal for there to be some space in a relationship, there should still be communication when you're not together. When it appears he's not making an effort to talk to you outside of hooking up, it's a sign that he's not interested in a deeper connection.

12. The Only Time He Wants To Hang Out Is When It's Convenient For Him

Know that it's definitely not a healthy balance if he's never available when you ask him to hang out but expects you to drop everything when he asks you to. He should be as eager to see you as you are to see him and there should be some give and take in the relationship. If he's not willing to make time for you or be flexible, it's a sign that he's not truly invested in the relationship.

13. He's Extremely Private About His Personal Life

He is not sharing any personal information or secrets with you and tends to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself. This lack of intimacy may be a sign that he is hiding something from you. Maintaining a close, open, and honest relationship is important in getting to know each other.

14. He Doesn't Want To Meet Your Friends

He consistently turns down invitations to socialize with you and your friends, preferring to spend time with you alone. This may indicate that he is not as committed to the relationship as you are. It is important for a healthy relationship to have a balance of alone time and time spent with other people.

15. He Doesn't Want You To Meet His Friends

It seems like he doesn't include you when he goes out with his friends, even if you ask. This might be because he's afraid that you'll only be a temporary part of his life and he doesn't want to introduce you to the important people in his life. It's possible that he's only using you if he's behaving this way.

16. You've Never Actually Gone On A Real Date Together

You only spend time together in casual settings such as having drinks or hanging out at his place, but you have never gone on a traditional date where you go out to dinner or do something more formal. It may be worthwhile to discuss this with your partner and express your desire for more intentional, quality time together. If you still don't notice a change, then it's pretty obvious he's not as committed.

17. He Never Stays The Night

He consistently avoids staying the night at your place and makes excuses to leave, even if it is late. If you are at his place, it seems that he does not expect you to stay the night. This lack of willingness to spend the night together may be a sign of a lack of commitment or intimacy in the relationship.

18. He Avoids Labeling The Relationship

When you bring up the topic of defining the relationship, he becomes uncomfortable, dismisses the need for labels, or avoids the conversation entirely. He consistently avoids having the "what are we?" talk and months have passed without any progress or clarity. This lack of communication and avoidance of the topic may be a sign that he is not fully committed to the relationship.