When one or both individuals in a relationship stop putting in effort, it can pose a significant danger to the relationship. While the initial excitement and passion may diminish over time, it is important to recognize that this signifies a new stage in the relationship where both partners feel at ease being their true selves. However, it's crucial to be cautious not to lose sight of the reasons for being together. Here are some behaviors that may unwittingly harm your relationship.
1. You're Unnecessarily Critical
Perfection is unattainable, and it's acceptable to offer guidance when supporting your boyfriend through a challenge. However, constantly criticizing and evaluating his every action can eventually become tiresome. Continuously questioning his character is undesirable, and it's doubtful that he will tolerate such a pessimistic demeanor for an extended period.
2. You're Always Passing The Blame
Apologizing necessitates acknowledging when you've made a mistake. Refusal to do so implies that you always consider yourself to be in the right and your partner in the wrong, which is typically not the reality. It's not a contest, so losing a few disagreements is not catastrophic. If your aim is to ruin your relationship, refusing to take responsibility will undoubtedly accomplish that.
3. You Laugh At Each Other's Expense
Joking around in a playful manner can appear insignificant, but it can quickly turn hurtful and malicious. Initially, it may seem innocuous, but we frequently fail to recognize when it has gone too far and wind up uttering things that we later regret.
4. You Only Pretend To Listen
Consistently posing questions while disengaging during the response will be evident. You both will experience a sense of unimportance, leading to a relationship that feels like it's just going through the motions.
5. You Value Honesty Over Tact
Undoubtedly, honesty is crucial in any relationship, but being aware of your partner's emotions is equally important. For instance, if you know that your partner is insecure about their weight gain, it's best not to make fun of them. No one enjoys being repeatedly reminded of their shortcomings, so it's necessary to recognize when to refrain from speaking.
6. You Don't Make Quality Time For Each Other
It's worth noting that quality, not quantity, is what matters. The amount of time you spend with your partner is less significant than the activities you engage in while together. If your interactions solely consist of superficial conversations during dinner, sitting in silence while watching TV, and then heading to bed, it would have been no different than spending the evening alone.
7. You Make Each Other Your Entire Life
It's understandable that you have a strong affinity for each other, but having a life outside of your relationship is crucial; otherwise, you'll become overly reliant on one another. If you don't make time for friends, hobbies, and personal pursuits, you may wake up one day to find yourself with no one to turn to, no activities to enjoy, and no boyfriend, as he too may realize that a fulfilling life requires more than just a romantic relationship.
8. You Hold Grudges/don't Let Things Go
It's reasonable to feel angry and address your partner's actions if they have hurt you. After they have acknowledged and apologized for their actions, it's essential to let go of the resentment. Clinging onto grudges will only make you bitter and resentful, impeding your ability to experience happiness. Forgiveness should be natural if you want to preserve your relationship.
9. You Take Everything Personally
It's important to remember that not everything revolves around you, and that's actually a positive thing. If your partner expresses their dislike for black jeans, it doesn't imply that they're criticizing you for wearing them. Likewise, if they mention feeling drained from excessive socializing, it doesn't signify that they're weary of conversing with you. Instead of interpreting everything as a personal attack, acknowledge that you contribute to your partner's life, but you're not the sole aspect of it.
10. You Drop Hints Instead Of Communicating Openly And Directly
Assuming your partner can read your mind is unrealistic. Using hints to communicate your thoughts and feelings can result in a relationship built on passive-aggressiveness, which isn't conducive to a healthy relationship. It's crucial to express your thoughts, feelings, and desires directly to your partner through open and honest communication for a sustainable and thriving relationship.
11. You Avoid Conflict At All Costs
While changing the subject to avoid conflict may seem like a good idea, it's not a sustainable solution. Avoiding conflict can lead to suppressed emotions, which can leave you feeling mentally exhausted and resentful of your partner. Honest communication is essential in a healthy relationship, and avoiding conflict hinders that. Instead, it's better to have a meaningful conversation to address the issue at hand and work towards a resolution while keeping in mind the importance of admitting faults and being considerate of your partner's feelings.
12. You Take Your Partner For Granted
It's important to distinguish between being kind and being taken for granted if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. Have you expressed gratitude to your partner for the things they do for you? Make sure to acknowledge the small things they do every day and let them know that you don't take them for granted. Treat them the way you want to be treated.
13. You Try To Change Them
One of the most destructive things for a relationship is the inability to accept your partner for who they are. Nobody is perfect, so if you can't embrace your partner's flaws, it may be time to reconsider your relationship. Unless your partner explicitly asks for your input and help in improving themselves, it's important to let them decide whether they want to change or not. Forcing them to change for your own benefit is selfish and can damage the relationship in the long run.
14. You Pretend To Listen
If you constantly ignore your partner when they're trying to talk to you about something important, it will hurt them deeply. If you're in the middle of work or doing something else, politely ask them to wait as you won't be able to give them your full attention. However, if you have the time, make an effort to truly listen to them. Pretending to listen will eventually lead to a breakdown in communication and your partner may start to do the same to you. This pattern will eventually drive a wedge between you, even if you live together.
15. You Constantly Point Out Their Flaws
Partners should certainly be honest with each other, but honesty should not be hurtful or damaging. If you know your partner is insecure about something, it's important to support them and help them overcome their flaws, rather than teasing them and causing them to feel hurt. Only point out flaws if you have a solution or constructive feedback to offer. Constantly highlighting their shortcomings without offering any assistance is unnecessary and hurtful. Keep in mind that your partner is likely already aware of their imperfections and doesn't need you to constantly remind them.
16. You Refuse To Change
There are some aspects of our lives that only our partners can help us change. Think back to when you first started dating your partner – has your life changed since then? Perhaps you've attended anger management classes together, started working out, or started living a healthier lifestyle. However, remember that change is only good if it benefits both of you and you see positive changes in your relationship.
17. You Won't Admit Or Apologize When You're Wrong
Apologizing when you've hurt your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship. Acknowledge your mistake and take responsibility for your actions. If you find it difficult to apologize, it suggests that you always think you're right and your partner is wrong, which is never the case. Nobody's perfect, and mistakes are bound to happen. The issue isn't the mistake itself, but rather the failure to apologize. Admit your mistake and apologize, so you can both move forward. If you don't, you risk damaging your relationship irreparably.
