17 Signs He Is Making Love To You And Not Just Having Sex

How can you tell he is making love to you and not just trying to fulfill his sexual desires? Or rather, what is the difference between regular sex and making love? 

If you are in a sexual relationship, it’s important to know the difference.

Here’s why: a man who makes an effort to make love to you has a deep emotional connection to you.

So, this is an important relationship milestone.

But you might not know you have passed it if you can’t tell if he is just having sex with you or making love.

Today, I’ll help you know the difference. So, here we go.

Signs He Is Making Love To You

1. He Makes Eye Contact During Sex

Eye contact when making love is very intimate. So, if he seems keen to look into your eyes while having sex with you, then he is definitely trying to make love.

Looking into your eyes is a huge risk because he wants to see how you will take the experience. You could be bored, excited, in pain, and so forth.

He looks into your eyes because he loves you on some level and isn’t afraid to let you see it. More importantly, he is taking a risk by looking to confirm if you also feel love towards him or not.

Let’s be honest, beautiful eyes may make guys weak in the knees, but sexual desire would be better addressed if he focused his attention on other parts of your body during sex.

So, his looking into your eyes is a huge sign he is making love to you, and that he probably loves you. 

2. He Asks What You Want And Does It

When horny, rarely do men bother with what their female partners want. All they want is to have sex and get themselves off before walking off.

So, if he wants to know what you want, and makes sure your needs are met, then he clearly wants to make love to you.

In fact, he won’t mind doing something you have said you like as many times as possible.

3. There’s Lots Of Foreplay Before Sex

Women love foreplay, and men could go without it. And many do, unfortunately, because all they want is to get off and move on.

So, when a man makes sure there’s plenty of foreplay before you have sex, then that’s one of the signs he is making love to you.

Foreplay focuses on the lady mostly, and it shows he really cares if he bothers about it at all. Foreplay proves that he does not care only about his pleasure, but your ultimate satisfaction as well.

He might expect a little feedback from you, but you can tell for sure the attention is mostly on your needs and not his.

And another thing, the foreplay will not be rushed. The touches will be slow and sensual because the goal is not just to get you excited but to make you feel loved.

The caresses will be gentle and slow, and you might even get a massage because he wants you to feel loved.

4. He Dials Down The Dirty Talk

A man who is making love will be a lot more respectful towards you and your body. So, he will refrain from dirty talk, which in such circumstances might sound crass and inappropriate.

His words will be nice and gentle, and they will make you feel precious and treasured.

Sweet nothings will be whispered to your ears instead of dirty words meant to make you more excited about the activity at hand. What he says will be words you will remember and cherish even after you are done making love.

5. There’s Lot Of Sensual Kissing

In casual hookups, kissing is too intimate for those involved, which is why they go without it. So, a clear sign that a man is not interested in anything other than sex is the lack of kissing.

But a man who seems particularly interested in kissing you on the lips, cheeks, and every inch of your body clearly wants to make love to you.

This is a man who cares about you and cherishes and adores you.

6. Your Pleasure Is His Greatest Priority

When a man is making love to you, he is also trying to show you he can satisfy you sexually. That’s why his focus will be entirely on you.

In fact, he might not stop until he is sure you are satisfied, and that you enjoyed yourself thoroughly. He might even ask if you did because he wants you to understand he cares about your needs.

During regular sex, he might stop when he is satisfied, and that does not necessarily mean you are satisfied too.

7. He Is Slow And Deliberate

In the game of love, slow and steady does it. So, if you see that your man is not in a rush to get off and does everything slowly and deliberately, savoring every moment and making sure you enjoy yourself, then he’s making love.

He is taking his time to explore his enchanting goddess, and he has definitely made you a priority and wants you to enjoy yourself as much as possible.

When he is slow, it shows he has a deep passion for you and is not just interested in the destination, but also the journey.

Immediate gratification can wait because he wants to stretch out this special moment for as long as he can.

8. You Feel More Vulnerable

You are not truly making love if you don’t feel vulnerable at some level. So, this is one of the signs he is making love to you and not just having sex.

When you are making love, the ambiance, and the manner in which the whole thing is going down will make you feel very vulnerable.

It means opening up and letting someone in emotionally, which is obviously a very huge risk.

At first it will feel scary, but if all goes well, you will feel much more satisfied by the sex and you will feel you have experienced a different kind of intimacy.

Making love means exposing your heart, mind, and soul to this person, and they have to do the same. There are few things more intense than that in this life.

9. You’re Happy

One of the signs he is making love to you is a feeling of happiness, and not just because you have just had great sex.

Before you make a move, you have to be happy and at least thrilled with each other. So, angry sex does not count as making love.

If you both feel you are in a great mood, and that you have lots of love for each other, then you are making love.

This process makes you connect deeply in a positive way. That is why you will be happier than aroused when making love.

10. He Seems Nervous

You have done it countless times in the past, but for some reason, he seems a little nervous this time. Why is that?

It might have something to do with the fact that he wants to make love to you.

Unlike sex, love-making is much more intimate and involving. And if it’s the first time he is doing this, he will feel nervous because he might not have as much confidence.

Making love makes someone feel emotionally vulnerable, which is why he is nervous because he has no idea how you will handle it. 

On some level, he thinks this will make or break your perception of him. Men make love to women they want to stick around, and so he might be concerned that his love-making will make you consider the relationship casual when it’s not.

11. He Seems Different

During regular sex, people are very different because all that’s guiding them is lust. However, when a man is making love to you, he will appear to have a different personality because his desire is to show you his feelings towards you and how important you are in his life.

He cares about more than showing you his skills in bed and instead wants you to see past that and notice the person he truly is.

That is why he will seem like a different person because he will communicate more, say loving things, and be a little more deliberate and controlled as he has sex with you.

12. He’s Very Keen With His Sex Positions

The purpose of regular sex is to get off. But one of the signs he is making love to you is demonstrating he has a priority beyond sex.

It goes without saying that if he wants doggy style, then he is not making love to you. Eye contact is among the most evident signs he is making love to you.

So, if he seems to focus on styles that make sure you still have eye contact, then that’s one of the signs he is making love to you. Examples include missionary and cowgirl.

And even if he is crazy into doggy style, he might bend over and try to get your attention so you look into his eyes.

13. There’s Communication During The Sex

When having sex, you might not have to say anything to each other. But when making love, he will tell you a lot of things to show you he cares or even loves you.

And it doesn’t have to be words all through – his gentle caresses can also tell you a lot about what he feels and thinks of you.

When just having sex, there’s no special message to be relayed. It’s usually about two people having fun.

14. It’s Not Just About Physical Satisfaction

When it’s just sex, getting an orgasm is usually the end goal, and not necessarily for both partners.

However, a man who is making love to you does not only go out of his way to get physical release but also wants to ensure your emotional needs are met.

He draws out the session to make sure you feel a deep emotional connection and feel confident in trusting him. He will rush nothing, and that’s because sex is not the goal.

The most important thing to him when he makes love to you will be a deep emotional connection. Basically, if he cares more than sexual satisfaction, that’s one of the most powerful signs he is making love to you.

15. There’s Complete Honesty

Sex sometimes means being someone you are not. You can pretend you are someone else, or that your partner is someone else.

So, if you were roleplaying, you were not making love but having sex. Being himself is among the most obvious signs he is making love to you.

When making love, it’s the real you against the real him. You each embrace who you are and seek acceptance from each other.

That is why some conversations might not even seem sexual or physically arousing, because you are saying the truth as it is, hopefully, without judgment.

16. Even If You Don’t Have Sex, He Stays

Sex can be a good measure of how deeply someone cares about you. In most cases, when you turn down sex from a guy, he will just leave and will not be bothered with any further physical intimacy with you at the time.

He might even get upset.

However, a man who was trying to make love to you will stick around and still be open to physical intimacy even if sex is not an option.

Cuddling, snuggling up, and even kissing will still be something he welcomes even if you are not up to the sex. But a man who was only after sex would not want such provocation.

17. He Cuddles And Sleeps Next To You After The Sex

One of the most powerful signs he is making love to you is his willingness to be in your presence after you have made love.

Even after spending so much time making you ready for a steamy and unforgettable love session, he still wants to stick around afterward if he is making love.

That goes to prove he wasn’t just looking for a quick fix and is one of the signs he is making love to you.

More importantly, it proves beyond doubt that he wants to spend time with you, and sex is not the only reason he wants you around.  If it was regular sex, he would have probably gotten up to go take a shower, or left.

But instead, he tries to spend a little more time with you. You might even kiss some more and have deep and intimate conversations about each other and your relationship.

Of all the signs that he is making love to you will be the fact that everything will seem intense but on a deep emotional level. You will notice that his attention is not on sexual satisfaction only, but also on your happiness and emotional satisfaction.