One of the most critical life skills is the ability to move on after a challenging experience in life. That is precisely why you need to learn ways to get past self-pity quickly.
Life can get a little challenging sometimes, and that's a reality we know all too well. In fact, after a few too many struggles, you might feel like you deserve some self-pity, such as when a significant relationship ends or when you face a considerable misfortune.
While it's a good idea not to bottle up your feelings when you feel unhappy about something, wallowing in self-pity is equally destructive unless you find ways to get past it quickly enough.
Here's why self-pity is bad: it never allows you to learn from your mistakes. Therefore, you can never really get past your problems if all you do is pity yourself.
Studies have even determined that self-pity is as destructive as smoking 20 cigarettes a day. That is why learning a few ways to get past self-pity quickly is so important.
1. Choose Compassion Over Pity
When you are going through a hard time, what you need the most is compassion, not self-pity. Being compassionate means allowing yourself to feel sad but also doing something to make yourself feel better.
For instance, you can reach out to friends for help. Getting support from friends is one of the best ways to get past self-pity quickly.
Self-pity makes you feel helpless, but compassion allows you to have hope and the strength to start over. For this reason, having compassion for yourself is among the best ways to get past self-pity quickly.
2. Appreciate The Good Things About You
When someone has problems with self-pity, they rarely see anything good about themselves. This negativity is a huge problem.
That is why one of the most effective ways to get past self-pity is to see the good in you. You can even take it a little further and make a gratitude journal.
You can start by writing down about 5 to 10 things you are grateful for daily. Soon enough, you will have plenty to be thankful for and practically no reason to pity yourself.
3. Find Out Why You Are Stuck In Self-Pity
When things are going wrong, we often have more questions than answers. Depending on these questions, our situation can get better or worse.
Most people wonder why a bad thing is happening to them, and the answers that come back often include "because you are not good enough" or "because they hate you."
That is why you should focus on things like: "How can I get out of this?" Such questions represent one of the most effective ways to get past self-pity.
4. Don't Complain
When we pity ourselves, we tend to complain a lot. We do this subconsciously as a way to get sympathy from people.
What we should be doing instead is taking action against whatever is making us feel down, even if that means accepting that there is little we can do about the terrible thing that has just happened to us.
Resisting the temptation to complain all the time is undoubtedly one of the best ways to get past self-pity.
5. Help Out Other People
Since self-pity puts all the focus on you, focusing on the misfortune of others can help make the situation better. Altruism is very refreshing, and it can show you just how useful and undeserving of pity you are.
Additionally, this is one of the best ways to get past self-pity quickly as it positively involves other people. As long as you feel that you are doing some good in society, self-pity will not be such a bother.
The good thing about helping others is that it will make you feel confident and empowered.
6. Learn To Laugh At Yourself
Sometimes you pity yourself because you are taking yourself too seriously. If that is the case, you need to learn to laugh at yourself.
This is among the best ways to get past self-pity quickly. In life, sometimes you will make a fool of yourself, and you should learn to take that in a lighthearted way.
7. Understand The Downsides Of Self-Pity
Self-pity is very tempting because it feels comforting. However, the truth is that it also increases your pain and makes you miserable for everyone around you.
More importantly, self-pity makes you negative about life, and this is often reflected in the way you interact with others.
Ultimately, people start to avoid you because you are passing your pain to them. Compassion draws people to you because they want to lift you up when you feel down, but self-pity makes people avoid you because you make them feel down.
8. Don't Crave Drama
Some people find themselves dealing with self-pity all the time because they have pretty extreme ways of thinking. For instance, you might think everything is black and white, which invites a lot of unnecessary drama into your life.
Learn to be open-minded and a little more accommodating of other people's opinions and you will have fewer battles to fight.
9. Be Kind To Yourself
You need a lot of courage to look at yourself in the mirror when you feel bad about yourself and appreciate yourself. We tend to be kind to ourselves only when we are doing well.
Just because you have had a falling out with someone and the experience devastated you, it does not mean you don't deserve kindness, especially from yourself.
Being kind to yourself is undoubtedly one of the best ways to get past self-pity quickly.
10. Stop Dwelling On The Past
Some people put so much focus on the past that they never see the incredible opportunities right in front of them. Research has found that people who pity themselves tend to love focusing on the past, especially their past failures.
So, letting go of your past and appreciating that it's never too late to start over is one of the most effective ways to get past self-pity quickly.
Just because you are alone with no one around to cheer you up, it does not mean you cannot make yourself feel better. You can find somewhere quiet and comfortable, close your eyes, and let go of any negative feelings in your mind.
12. Refuse To Be A Victim
The victim mentality is highly linked to feelings of self-pity. This mentality makes people blame other people for their misfortune, and that creates feelings of helplessness.
Typically, this feeling can get addictive and result in behaviors that can destroy relationships. People who pity themselves tend to find something wrong in everything they see, which turns off many people.
13. Learn To Forgive Yourself
When you are pitying yourself, you are often blaming yourself and refusing to forgive yourself. Learn to cut yourself some slack knowing that nobody is perfect in this world.
Forgive yourself so you can let go of the negative thoughts holding you back. Just because you have been rejected, it does not mean the whole world has left you.
14. Focus On Your Hobbies
Hobbies have a magical way of helping us let go of negative feelings. That is why putting your focus on a hobby is one of the best ways to get past self-pity quickly and enjoy a happy life.
You can even decide to try a new hobby and learn new skills that can make you a happier person.
15. Be Responsible For Your Point Of View
If you are fond of seeing yourself as a pitiful person, then chances are that you will always see yourself in that light regardless of the situation you are facing. Experts admit that our emotional states affect our perceptions of reality.
The good news is that we choose how we see things, which means it's in our power to change our perceptions.
So, learn to see the positive side of things even when going through hardships. Understand that problems are not permanent and that each hurdle in life has important lessons to teach us.
16. Learn Something From The Situation
Every experience in life should be a learning experience. So, if you find yourself dealing with self-pity, be keen enough to notice things that can help you deal with it.
Additionally, keep track of the negative consequences of feeling sorry for yourself on such a massive scale. Learning from our mistakes is one of the best ways to get past self-pity quickly and effectively.
Final Thoughts On Ways To Get Past Self-Pity Quickly
We all feel down sometimes, and we can all pity ourselves after specific experiences in life. However, we should be careful not to spend so much time in self-pity.
Although self-pity is comforting, it is very damaging to our self-confidence and our general outlook on life. So, make sure you have mastered a few of these fantastic ways to get past self-pity quickly and effectively.