The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" suggests that being apart from someone can actually strengthen your relationship. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Communications supports this idea, finding that couples in long-distance relationships often have a deeper and more meaningful connection than couples who live in the same place. While it may not be practical to move across the country to test this theory, there are psychological strategies you can use to make your partner miss you. Here are 16 tips to try.
1. Leave him on "read"
There are many ways to create a sense of absence in a relationship, and one way is to be less available through text messages. By taking longer to respond to your partner's messages or adjusting your settings so that they can see when you have read their messages but not responded, you can create a sense of distance that will make them miss you more. This can be especially effective in a world where we rely so heavily on text-based communication. By creating a sense of absence, you can encourage your partner to appreciate and value your presence even more.
2. Tell him you're busy when he asks you out
To prevent being taken for granted in a relationship, it is important not to be too available all the time. While it is important to be reliable and make an effort to spend time with your partner, it is also important to establish your own boundaries and make it clear that you have a full and independent life. By turning down your partner's invitations occasionally and suggesting alternative times to hang out, you can demonstrate assertiveness and prevent them from feeling rejected. This can help ensure that your relationship is healthy and balanced.
3. Encourage him to spend time with his friends
Encouraging your partner to have a social life outside of your relationship is important for both of your well-being, and it can also demonstrate your confidence in the relationship. By showing an interest in your partner's happiness and encouraging them to spend time with friends, you are exhibiting selfless behavior that can ultimately strengthen your bond. Your partner will likely feel loved and supported by you, which can increase their feelings of affection and make them miss you more when you are apart. In this way, fostering a healthy social life outside of the relationship can be a form of "selfishness" that ultimately benefits both parties.
4. Stop texting for a while
Ignoring your partner's texts or pausing communication altogether can get their attention and make them think, but it is important to be aware of your motivations for doing so. If you are using this tactic to punish your partner for not being attentive or to make them apologize for something they did, it may not be the most productive approach. Instead of ignoring their texts indefinitely, it may be more effective to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. Ignoring their texts can have consequences, as they will likely sense that something is wrong and may become concerned. It is important to discuss your feelings and address any issues in a direct and constructive way.
5. Stay mysterious
Being mysterious about your history and personality can make you more captivating to your partner, as it creates a sense of intrigue and encourages them to want to get to know you better. While honesty and trust are essential in a relationship, there is no need to reveal every detail of your past or your inner thoughts immediately. By being a little vague about certain aspects of your life, you can create a sense of mystery that will keep your partner engaged and motivated to learn more about you. As they work to uncover clues and get to know you better, they will feel more invested in the relationship.
6. Focus on fun when you're together
To make yourself an integral part of your partner's life, it is important to create positive associations with you. By making it enjoyable and fun to be around you, you can increase their desire for your presence. It is important to note that being "fun" does not mean sacrificing your own interests or constantly catering to your partner's wishes. A healthy relationship is built on mutual enjoyment and respect. When you have fun together and create positive memories, your partner will recognize that life is more enjoyable with you by their side.
7. Be the first to end your conversations
While your partner may not consciously realize what you are doing, they will likely feel the effects of your actions on a subconscious level. To create a sense of absence and make them crave your presence, it is important to be busy and focused on your own life rather than angry or confrontational. You can politely end phone calls or leave social engagements early, but it is important to do so in a way that is respectful and not confrontational. By leaving your partner wanting more and making them feel like they have to work to be with you, you can increase their desire for your presence and strengthen the bond between you.
8. Let him see you living your best life on social media
One effective way to make your partner miss you is to use your social media accounts to highlight the fun you are having with your friends. By posting pictures and updates about your activities and showcasing your other meaningful relationships, you can give your partner a healthy dose of perspective and remind them that they are not the only important person in your life. Seeing that you are having fun and building connections with others may make them feel a sense of longing for your presence and increase their desire to spend time with you. This can be a subtle but effective way to create a sense of absence and make your partner miss you more.
9. Spend a lot of time at his place
Spending a lot of time at your partner's place may seem counterintuitive if you are trying to make them miss you, but it can actually have the opposite effect. When you are present in their home, you become a part of their daily routine and they may start to take your presence for granted. However, when you are not there, everything in their home may serve as a reminder of you and your time together, which can make them feel a sense of emptiness or longing for your presence. By spending time in your partner's home, you can create a sense of absence that will make them miss you more when you are not there.
10. Keep your thoughts on the relationship on the DL
Effective communication is essential for a healthy relationship, but it is important not to overanalyze or try to control the progression of the relationship. In the early stages, it is often best to let things progress naturally and allow the relationship to evolve on its own. By taking a relaxed approach, you can give the partnership the space it needs to grow and strengthen. As you become an increasingly important part of your partner's life, they may initiate conversations about the future direction of the relationship. Trusting in the natural progression of the partnership can help solidify the bond between you.
11. Be his best advisor
Emotional intimacy is crucial in forming strong relationships. If your partner feels comfortable sharing their emotions with you, you will hold a special place in their life. They will turn to you for support and comfort during difficult times, which will keep you constantly on their mind. Without emotional intimacy, it is difficult to build a meaningful connection.
12. Leave something behind the next time you're at his place
Consider leaving a personal item behind the next time you spend the night together, such as a piece of clothing or a toothbrush. When your partner sees it, they will be reminded of you and feel your absence. You can even strategically place the item in a location that has intimacy, like a bathroom drawer or near the bed, to increase the emotional impact. This small gesture can deepen the connection between you
13. Send him pictures of what you're doing without him
Creating a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) can make your partner more eager to spend time with you. If you go out and have fun while they are working or away, share photos of your activities on social media or through messaging. Seeing you have a great time without them may make them desire to be with you even more.
14. Develop a routine with him
As humans, we often find comfort in routines and become upset when they are disrupted. By creating a routine with your partner, such as staying the night and performing certain activities before bed, you become an integral part of their daily routine. When you are not present, their day may feel off-balance and incomplete.
15. Make plans with your friends
Maintaining friendships is important for personal growth and overall happiness. In addition, spending time with friends can also make your partner miss you and realize how much they enjoy being with you. Seeing you have fun without them may also create a feeling of jealousy, which can highlight the depth of their love and desire to be with you.
16. Have incredible sex
While it may be challenging, it is important to address any issues with your sexual relationship. Lust can be a strong motivator in a relationship, and satisfying sexual experiences can lead to feelings of longing and desire when apart. However, it is crucial to ensure that both partners are satisfied and feel fulfilled in the relationship. If one person is giving more than they are receiving, it may indicate a lack of compatibility. To build a strong and passionate connection, it is important for both partners to feel satisfied and content.
Why Psychological Tricks To Make Him Miss You Don't Always Work
1. He isn't interested in a relationship
If your partner is not interested in a committed relationship, attempting to make them miss you will likely be unsuccessful and may even drive them further away. If they do not already think about you when you are together, it is unlikely that your absence will change their feelings. It can be painful to want a relationship with someone who does not reciprocate your feelings but continuing to try and "reel them in" will only be a waste of time and energy. It is important to respect their boundaries and move on to a healthier, more mutually fulfilling relationship.
2. Your insecurity is derailing your chances of love
Low self-esteem can be damaging to a relationship. It can make it difficult to trust your partner's expressions of love and can cause you to doubt their commitment to the relationship. Even if your partner tries to reassure you, low self-esteem may lead you to feel suspicious and incapable of believing in their affection. It can be challenging to overcome these feelings and may require addressing underlying issues with self-worth. Attempting to use psychological tactics to make your partner miss you will not be effective if you are struggling with low self-esteem.
3. Manipulation is not a healthy way to keep a person interested
Healthy relationships are based on trust and honesty, not manipulation or mind games. While it can be sweet to remind your partner of your importance in their life if you already have a strong bond, attempting to manipulate them or make them feel insecure is not a healthy or sustainable way to build a relationship. If you feel the need to trick someone into finding you attractive or desirable, it is likely that the relationship will not be successful in the long term.
