15+ Things To Text A Guy After A First Date (What To Say To Get In His Head)

You have just concluded your initial encounter. The outcome was either overwhelmingly positive, causing you to eagerly anticipate your next encounter, or on the other hand, you are hoping to avoid a similar experience in the future.

Regardless of the outcome, the experience is not yet concluded. The most challenging aspect now lies ahead: determining the right words to use in a text message, whether it be to maintain the spark or to politely decline further interactions.

Sending texts can amplify your anxiety to an extreme level. You may spend countless hours crafting and re-crafting messages, trying to find the perfect words. However, even after sending the message, you may second-guess yourself and wonder if it was really as perfect as you thought.

What are some suitable topics to text a guy about after your first date?

You don't have to rely on your friends for ideas on what to text. We've got you covered with some suggestions.

But before we dive into the ideas, let's address some common questions that may arise now that the date has ended.


If you're feeling anxious about when to text him after your first date, you may have come across the popular "three-day rule." This rule suggests that you should wait three days before texting him.

There are many people who will advise you to observe a minimum waiting period of three days before texting him.

What is the reason for this?

To avoid overwhelming him with attention, appearing clingy, and pushing him away.

However, we don't necessarily believe that you have to observe such a long waiting period. Consider the situation from the other person's perspective: how would you feel if you didn't receive any communication from them for several days after your first date?

You would likely feel anxious and unhappy throughout that time, especially if the date went well. Replaying the date from start to finish would likely be a constant occurrence in your mind.

Men can also experience anxiety in these situations. A quick online search will reveal that many guys have the same question about how long to wait before texting.

Therefore, you can feel free to text him sooner than the three-day rule suggests. However, we advise against texting too soon, as a message sent a few moments or even a couple of hours after the date might come across as too eager or desperate.


When you're attracted to someone, it's natural to want to continue talking to them. However, constantly communicating between dates may not always be the best approach.

If you text him frequently after your first date, it can make you appear clingy and overly eager, which is not ideal.

Even if texting excessively doesn't turn him off, there's a risk that you could run out of things to talk about over text, which would be more enjoyable to discuss in person.

It's fine to have a few conversations in between dates, but try to keep them brief. Focus on making plans for your next date instead. This will demonstrate that you have a fulfilling life outside of the relationship and that you don't constantly require his attention.

Ultimately, a woman who is self-assured and has a fulfilling life is highly attractive. The saying "less is more" holds true in this case, and your partner will be left wondering about you in between conversations and dates, which can be a good thing.


Ask him about an activity or hobby he mentioned

Do you want to know the top technique for appearing like a captivating conversationalist?

The secret is simple: listen.

During your date, your partner will likely share some information about themselves. If you listen attentively, you can remember these details. For example, if they mention a hobby they enjoy, take note of it and use it to your advantage.

Mention something you learned about him later on, such as a hobby he enjoys doing in his free time. This can lead to the possibility of doing it together.

Many men enjoy feeling like they are in control. By allowing them to educate you about their hobby, you can give them the opportunity to take charge and boost their ego.

For instance: "I've heard that snowboarding can be a lot of fun. Would you be open to teaching me how to do it sometime?"

Make him remember a high point from the date (and how much he loved being with you)

Consider sending him a message about a highlight of your date, a moment where you felt overjoyed and couldn't stop smiling or laughing. This brief trip down memory lane will remind him of the enjoyable time he had with you and how much he enjoyed your company, especially if the date was positive.

Share with him your favorite moment from the date, whether it was a scene from the movie or a particular song from the concert. This will give him a glimpse of what stood out to you and bring back positive memories of the time you spent together.

You could send him a message saying something like: "Remember that joke you told me during our date? I just thought about it and it still had me laughing." This will show that you were paying attention and appreciated the humor, and it could even lead to a playful back-and-forth conversation.

Example: "Remember the joke you told me during the date? I've been laughing about it all day. You're such a funny guy!"

Stroke his ego a bit

The same is true for him. A well-placed compliment can make his day and leave a lasting impression. So, why not send him one? Let him know what you appreciated about the date, and what specifically made it special for you. This will show him that you enjoyed yourself, and that you're thinking about him even after the date is over.

Give your guy a boost by complimenting him. By showing him that you are paying attention, you can make him feel good and leave a positive impression that he won't be able to resist.

Complementing him on his appearance or highlighting a trait that you admire will boost his confidence and make him feel special. Showing him that you took notice of the things that make him unique will leave a lasting impression.

But, you have to be cautious with your compliments. Overloading him with too many of them might give off the impression that you're desperate or fake, which could hinder the possibility of a follow-up date.

For Instance: "Your knowledge about that band was truly impressive, I was blown away. I'd love to delve deeper and learn more."

Casually mention when you're free next (hint hint)

It can be challenging to determine a man's emotions as they aren't always straightforward in expressing themselves.

However, you can easily gauge his feelings by sending a casual text message.

Mention nonchalantly when you're free the next time. Keep in mind that there's a chance of coming across as overly eager if you send it too soon, so exercise caution when using this approach.

It's important to avoid mentioning a time that's too soon as it might give the impression that you have either made yourself available just for him or lack a social life, both of which could potentially drive him away.

Allow some time to pass, then send a simple text mentioning that you don't have any plans in the near future, for example, in a week or so.

Then just wait and see if he takes the bait.

Example: "My plans for next weekend have been canceled. Do you have any ideas on what I could do instead?"

Ask him what he's up to

You may be concerned about coming across as uninteresting.

However, it's perfectly fine to send a text that may seem mundane at times. There's no need to constantly put in extra effort to seem exciting.

Scattered here and there, sending a straightforward, dull message puts the responsibility on him to make the next move.

Additional benefit: it also displays a slight detachment or aloofness, which will really play on his mind, especially if you don't immediately use it to try and schedule another date. This will make him think that he needs to raise his level of effort to secure a place in your affection.

Example: "What are your plans for today?"

Take the initiative – ask him on the next date yourself

One of the fundamental truths of dating is that confidence is attractive.

Consider it for a moment. Which option would you prefer: the attractive man who is plagued by self-doubt and indecisiveness, or the man who may not be as aesthetically pleasing but is confident in his desires, direct in his approach, and able to captivate you with ease?

It's likely that you chose the latter. It's not surprising then that nothing captures a man's attention more than a woman who is bold and self-assured.

If the date went smoothly and there's mutual chemistry, surprise him by taking the lead. Men are often instructed to pursue women, and nothing will leave a lasting impression quite like a woman who shows initiative and takes charge every once in a while.

However, it's important to maintain balance. You should leave some room for him to participate as well.

Example: "I have two tickets for a performance next Thursday evening. If you're intrigued, I'd be happy to reserve the second one for you."

Up your quirkiness and ask him a unique question to get the ball rolling

The issue with dating in present times is that it can become monotonous after a while. You'll find yourself repeatedly encountering the same topics.

The repetition of the same pick-up lines, the same explanations, and the same conversation starters can become tiresome.

Don't let yourself fall into this trap. Stand out from the crowd by introducing a unique conversational topic that will capture his attention.

Uncertain about what to bring up in conversation? There are countless entertaining questions available online for you to discover.

You might also consider taking a look at Amy North's "Text Chemistry Course". With her extensive background in researching relationships, she provides a wealth of ideas for things to discuss if you ever find yourself at a loss for words.

Example: "Hi, I recently had a conversation about this with a few friends and I'm curious to hear your thoughts. If you were to win the lottery tomorrow, what would you choose to spend your winnings on?"

Keep it bright and positive

Have you ever encountered someone who has a consistently negative outlook? Chances are, each interaction with that person left you feeling drained and exhausted, correct?

Eventually, you begin to distance yourself from such individuals. Similarly, if you continually send negative messages to your guy, he will start to avoid you.

Brighten up his day by sharing a positive experience you had and connecting it to him in some way. For example, if you had an enjoyable cup of coffee and recall that he mentioned liking coffee, feel free to bring it up in conversation.

However, it's important to note that this doesn't mean you should text him about every single event of your day, even if it's all positive. Overloading him with information like this will quickly make the conversations uninteresting.

Example: "I had an incredible cup of coffee at a café this morning. It brought to mind our conversation about coffee and I think you'd really enjoy it too."

If you've got the chemistry, send him a cheesy pickup line and challenge him to send his best one back

Although they might be excessively cheesy, cheesy pickup lines are still widely loved.

Do you have a particularly humorous pickup line? Share it with your guy and dare him to respond with his own worst one.

Add an extra layer of excitement by turning it into a competition. The person who loses the pickup line battle must pay for the next date.

Then relax and observe as he bombards you with messages in an attempt to outdo you.

Example: "I'm willing to bet you a coffee date that I can come up with the cheesiest pickup line. My doctor told me I'm deficient in vitamin 'U'. Do you have one that's even worse than that?"

Your honest feelings

Expressing your true emotions with him can bring clarity, especially if after the first date, you feel that the connection isn't there.

Be straightforward and honest about your feelings towards him, letting him know if you feel like there isn't a connection or spark after your first date. This saves both of you from any further time wasting and lets you both move on to better prospects.

Be direct and respectful by sending a text expressing that you didn't feel a romantic connection. If you're open to maintaining a friendship, suggest a group outing for your next meeting.

If you had a good time and are looking forward to seeing him again, express your excitement in a subtle and confident way. Let him know you enjoyed your time with him and can't wait for another date, but avoid making grand declarations of love just yet.

Example: "Last night was fantastic, but I don't think we have the spark I'm looking for," or, "I thoroughly enjoyed our date and can't wait to see you again."

Challenge him to a game

Capitalize on that by challenging him to a friendly competition. Whether it's a game of chess, a round of virtual basketball, or even a trivia contest, let him know that you're ready to go head-to-head.

Whether it's a game of chess, checkers, or a mobile app, challenge him to a game and see who comes out on top. This is a fun and lighthearted way to bond and test your skills against each other. Just make sure to keep it all in good fun and be a gracious winner or loser.

Put his competitive spirit to the test by challenging him to a game with the prize being the winner buying the next dinner.

It also adds a fun element to your interactions and can help strengthen your connection through friendly competition.

Example: "Challenge accepted! I'm confident I'll win, but if I don't, I'll treat you to dinner. Let's play a game."

Send him a funny video or meme

This strategy may work better for some based on their age, but it still has the potential to be effective.

If you're looking for a fun way to lighten up the mood, sharing a funny picture can be an effective solution. Most people have some hilarious photos stored on their phone to bring a smile to their face. Why not send one to your guy and see if it can make his day a little brighter?

Additionally, sending him a funny picture is a lighthearted way to brighten up his day and bring a smile to his face. Plus, it's a great way to show off your sense of humor and build a playful connection with him.

If you don't have any funny pictures saved, ask him to send you the funniest ones he's got. It's a simple way to share a laugh.

Show him you care and make it all about him by asking him how he's doing

A common trait among many individuals is their fondness for self-discourse.

This does not necessarily mean they are self-centered. It is simply more natural to discuss topics that one is well-acquainted with, particularly in the context of a potentially nerve-wracking dating scenario.

This psychological phenomenon can be leveraged to your benefit. By guiding the conversation towards him, he will perceive you as an enjoyable conversationalist.

Ease into the conversation by inquiring about his current state and asking how his day has been going.

A straightforward greeting like, "Hey, how's your day going?" conveys that you are interested in his perspective. Stay attuned to his tone and respond appropriately with a brief comment or additional question as needed.

Did something go wrong with your date? Let him know you can deal with it by shrugging it off in text

It's understandable: even with the most fantastic of partners, dates can go awry and unforeseen events can occur.

However, lackluster dates do not necessarily signal the end of a relationship. These instances present an opportunity to salvage the situation and showcase your adaptability by embracing the unexpected.

Did the restaurant make a mistake with your order? Was the date uncomfortable despite your mutual attraction? Reaffirm your interest in him by sending a text message.

Example: "Despite the unexpected turn of events, I'd love to give it another try. Are you up for it?"

Check in on him

Did the date progress smoothly and was there a strong spark between you two?

If the connection between you remains strong even after the date, you can send a follow-up message to inquire about his well-being and confirm that he arrived home safely.

This is a gracious and considerate way to express concern without coming across as overly needy.

However, it is important to proceed with caution, as missteps could result in the perception of excessive eagerness.

Avoid overwhelming him with lengthy messages. Stick to simplicity and maintain a low-key approach. Do not anticipate engaging in an extended conversation as a result of this follow-up.

Example: "Hope you made it home safely."

Send him a spicy message to stoke the fire

An effective way to make him eager for your next encounter is to ignite his interest with a tantalizing text message.

Sparks his excitement and curiosity by sending him a message that leaves him eager to see you again soon. Observe as he quickly makes arrangements to reunite with you.

If you hope to develop a relationship from this, it may be best to limit the amount of explicit texting. Maintaining some mystery will give him a reason to look forward to your next meeting.

Example: "I certainly dreamt about you after our time together last night. 😉 Perhaps we could bring those dreams to life sometime."

Don't text him after the first date at all, and leave him scrambling to hear from you

Finding it difficult to come up with something to text him? That's not necessarily an issue.

One strategy to leave a lasting impression is to refrain from texting him after the first date, and instead allow him to initiate the next interaction.

This approach is often referred to as playing "hard to get." While there are potential risks involved, the rewards can be substantial.

By not texting, you project confidence and the appearance of a full and active life, keeping him intrigued and questioning what he needs to do to secure your attention.

It's important to keep in mind that this technique may not always yield the desired result. With the wrong person, it could give the impression that you are disinterested or don't want to see them again.

The success of this approach depends entirely on the nature of the relationship you're seeking and the dynamic between you. When used correctly, it can be a potent tool that has the potential to have the right person eagerly reaching out and asking to hear from or see you again.

Require some additional assistance? Consider exploring Amy North's "Text Chemistry" program to significantly enhance your texting skills and captivate him fully.