Did you know that the lack of communication and compatibility are two of the most common reasons people get divorced?
Yup, this thing is serious. When you commit, you expect and desire that the marriage will last forever, until your very last breath.
But more often, what happens between the moment you gave your vows and the happily ever after, means that you missed the opportunity to talk about some crucial things while you were in a relationship.
There is no such thing as a recipe for the perfect marriage by the book. We go through some ups and downs, but most of the problems lie in the lack of communication.
Let’s go through some of the most important things that people looking to get married might want to talk about before saying, “I do.”
#1 Dealing With Finances
Knowing how to handle your money is important, and talking about it with your partner is even bigger than any other money-making or money-saving ability.
You’ll come with a solution along the way, regarding your needs, you’ll see which options could work for you. Moreover, having a joined account where you’d put a part of your savings every month doesn’t sound that bad.
#2 Student Loans And Other Important Debts
Being sincere to your significant other is a big thing. Even if that means sharing your student loan debts with them, anyone would feel betrayed if they only found out about the actual amount owed by their partner after the wedding. And above this, it could affect the trust between you and your partner.
#3 Plans And Savings For Retirement
We won’t be able to work forever and provide for the family. So, this means that every couple should have a retirement savings plan that could help them overcome the “what if” questions related to the matter.
You would need to plan to at least have enough for 2 people and include the possible medical costs in case either of you gets sick.
#4 The “Do You Want To Have Kids” Kind Of Discussion
Not everyone who wants to get married wants to have kids. These two things are not related, and you need to understand that every person has their reasons.
Even if both partners want to have kids, they still would need to do the talk and see how they would want to raise their kids in the future.
#5 Exploring Other Options If Your Initial Plan Doesn’t Work
So, what if you want children so much, but you struggle along the way, and having them seems a mission impossible?
This is an important topic because you would need to think about your next steps and possible options.
#6 Splitting The Chores
The times when women were one-man show in the marriage are over. Dead and gone for good.
Marriage should be about splitting chores and acting as a team. Because in the end – you are a team!
#7 The Meaning Of Cheating
When we mention the word “cheating” somehow, we expect to have similar or same expectations about its meaning. But believe it or not, the term could mean different things to different people.
For example, one person may think that kissing is cheating, while another might think that just meeting up with an ex is unacceptable.
To avoid misunderstandings related to this, you should talk with your other half and see where you stand.
#8 Your Dreams And Future Plans
Where do you see yourself in X years shouldn’t be a question we often hear on job interviews.
It’s good to talk about your aspirations with your partner. Asking this question could help people to picture what their shared life is going to be like, and this is a good thing.
#9 Deal Breakers Are A Serious Thing
Every one of us has some red lines. It is always wiser to share them, so the living together could be not just bearable, but pleasant. Always keep in mind that if you discuss your deal breakers, you’ll save your marriage from loads of headaches.
#10 Taking Care For Your Parents
As time passes by, our parents will get old. This often means that they may need to be taken care of.
The next instance would be to discuss these things as early as possible and have potential plans for the future.
#11 Health And Mental Health History
A family history of medical conditions is more than welcome. We live in stressful times, where we could face serious diagnoses.
Also, being biologically compatible is important if both of you are expecting to have kids. You don’t have to initiate a lot, be honest with your partner and talk about your physical and mental health history.
#12 Choosing The Place Where You Want To Live
This issue might sound obvious to some people, but still – better ask now than be sorry later.
A good conversation could save you from having unnecessary arguments on whether would be a good idea to live with your parents or not, choose a house instead of an apartment, and many more.
#13 Your Quality Time Together Vs Alone Time
Even though marriage usually means living together, it doesn’t mean the couple needs to spend their time together, 24/7. They are married, but still, they are individuals with their interests and needs.
Give yourself some space. Go jogging alone, take a walk with your dog, just enjoy your precious and much-needed alone time every time you have an opportunity for it.
#14 When You’re Gone
Some conversations can be hard, even heartbreaking. But these things can happen, whether we like it or not.
We are different, and all of us may have personal preferences after we pass away. Make sure to clear this conversation from your schedule, and don’t overthink it. Just enjoy your time with the love of your life.
#15 Expectations For Your Social Life
Marriage is not the end of your social era, don’t forget that you still need your friends.
But often when couples get married it is somehow expected that they attend certain events together.
Sometimes it may be worth discussing what social events you intend to attend together and which ones would require your plus one to be a best friend or a family member.
Are these things really important to you too? What other things should couples discuss before getting married?